Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

How can I figure out what I feel for my best friend?

I’m gay. He’s polysexual.

I’ve known him for two and a half years, but I went to about twenty different schools by the time I graduated high school so I didn’t really have any friends for an extended period of time before him. We met in college.

He’s the most charismatic person in the world. It made me feel inadequate when twenty people came to cheer him on at his a cappella concert. He‘d known them for years— high school; I felt like I couldn’t mean anything to him while he meant the world to me. I left early, but he text me five minutes after the thing ended asking where I was and that he had been looking forward to see me. This meant the world to me.

When I graduated college, I thought it was over like all my past friendships, but he got a mutual friend to invite me to a weekly DnD game. I would drive him and we would always have dinner together before or after the game. He made a way for us to stay in each other’s lives. 

For the past six months, I’ve been struggling to figure out if I’m just not use to such strong platonic love or if I am romantically falling for him. Part of our relationship has always been flirtatious, but he has that in other friendships as well. 

I just last week moved in with him, his best friend, and his best friend’s gf. I thought this would help me figure it out and deepen our friendship but I’m more confused. 

He isn’t over his ex gf, but he’s polyamorous. I also still talk about a former classmate of ours whom I had a massive crush on. 

2 Answers

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Don't pursue this. You will only end up hurt. People who are with multiple people don't have the ability to just love one. Be friends at your own peril. Move out. Move by yourself and get to know and like yourself.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Maybe, he wants you more than a friend...Maybe its time to talk to him. Tell him what you think and feel about him

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