How do I get over my grudges about my deceased classmate?

When I was in high school, it was fine but I hated one of the girls who was my yearbook classmate. Okay so she wasn't the biggest person I hated. She was really nice and acted mature despite being a freshman and I was a senior, but something about her just bothered me. She seemed really biased towards some people and enabled their bad habits. People gave her too much credit that she didn't deserve and she seemed like a "mastermind", like she knew too much and said exactly what words to say to get people to like her. I always wanted to call her out but never could because I didn't want to get in trouble.

So recently I'm looking up my past classmates and I realise she died during her first year of college. I was really shocked to find out about this and I expected I'd feel bad about the negative things I thought about her. But I never really did. It would be different if I said these things about her because then I'd regret doing so, but knowing I can't speak ill about the dead when I couldn't even do it during her lifetime makes me despise her more. It feels like she took those bad things with her to the grave and I couldn't do anything to change that. Honestly despite my disliking of her, I know I need to let it go and I think it's wrong of me to let this grudge continue. I'm now 23 and she would have turned 21 this year. How do I let go?

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  • Diana
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Take a slow, deep breath and gently let it go.  There's no point in holding onto a one-sided grudge against a girl who wasn't fully mature, yet.  Instead of being angry at your classmate, be sad that she cannot continue her life's journey towards becoming the better person that she was meant to be.  If she'd had the chance, perhaps you might've become friends in your later years.  You never know.  

  • 2 months ago

    Get a bunch of photos of her, get anything that reminds you of her, and burn it up in front of anyone who likes her. When you're satisfied, you've reached your goal. Hope it helps. I don't know her but I didn't like her either.

  • 2 months ago

     Ignore the feelings and move on. There is a woman out there for you.

  • 2 months ago

    Stop thinking about it. 

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