Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Why is my mother like this? What should I do about her?

My mother has always been a difficult person, she is self centered and doesn’t have time for family life. She always goes around all over the place with her countless lovers and had many love affairs, jumping from one man to another while my father works his a s s off and takes care of the family.When I was little she didn’t want me cause she never wanted children so I always got cared by a nanny so she could have fun with her lovers. One night was the worst which still haunts me to this day, I was around 13 then. I woke up in the middle of the night of a terrible headache so I stood up and went towards my mom’s bedroom to ask her if she had a aspirin. When I opened the door I caught her having sex with a strange man which I asume was one of her lovers. I freaked out and quickly ran down the hall and saw dad sitting on the stairs crying with his face on his hand. When I approached him and before I could say anything he looked up to me and said quietly that I should go back to bed which I did. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. I felt so sorry for dad and was in deep shock. I’m 21 now and the same still goes on, dad works hard to provide for us while mom still goes around with her lovers except she doesn’t bring them home anymore. Why dad still hasn’t divorced her is beyond me. He still loves her and doesn’t want to leave her but she still hasn’t changed and doesn’t want to. She loves to live the life of a free woman. I’m afraid to marry, I fear to end up with a woman like her.

4 Answers

Relevance
  • Tj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Learn from this, do not be like your dad. You get rid of the bad person. Not all women are like this.  Ask him why he puts up with it, put him on the spot.

  • 2 months ago

    It sounds strange, but it sounds like your mother has sex for money.  That is why dad stays on the scene.  That is why her lovers, don't complain.  You father works hard so there is enough money.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    cause she dont care that shes acting that way

  • 2 months ago

    I am so sorry you are going through all of this! I had a pretty rough childhood, too growing up, but mine was a little different. Pretty much all of my parents were self-centered and never put me first and put their own needs ahead of mine. They were all addicted to alcohol and drugs and my real mother and stepmother both would have affairs with other guys as well but never brought them home. I am 33 now and live on my own and since I'm blind I have relatives and friends that look after me and help me whenever I need help with something or they'll take me wherever I need to go and they are all good people, at least I hope anyway, but I am single and I never dated because I didn't even have a social life growing up, but I do know that if I did get married and have kids, I would be a much better parent than my parents ever were. It's still hard right now because I sometimes have nightmares, flashbacks, and bad memories of things I went through and things I witnessed during my childhood and teenage years and once I have them they're so hard to get out of my head and it's like I feel it happening all over again and I feel the same pain I felt when it happened. But I don't think you should be afraid to marry, if you should find someone who makes you happy then go for it, but all I can say is just be on your guard and make sure whoever you find is a good person and would be good to marry before you marry her. I almost forgot to mention I know for the most part my relatives and friends are good, but once in a while I tend to get insecure about them if they do anything that reminds me of my past, so I still do have issues with insecurity, but I'm trying to work on that, but I think the coronavirus made things worse with it. But all you can do is just be a good parent for your kids if you get married and have them and like I said make sure the woman you find is fit and a good person before marrying, and hopefully you'll have a good family if you do have one. 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.