Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

My fiancé MARRIED sister keeps asking him for money. ?

My fiancé MARRIED sister keeps asking him for money. This is a constant thing. She asks he gives. Her and husband always on social media with the luxury stuff, cars, etc. Than the next day she asks him for money. Like I really don’t understand why she can’t and won’t go to her husband for this. She is taking advantage and using my fiancé as her own little emergency piggy bank. I’m tryna keep cool and address this the right way without being disrespectful but how? 

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  • 3 weeks ago

    As his fiance, you are not legally mixed up in his personal finances. His debts are not your debts. His income is not yours to be taxed. If you have a wedding date then discuss with him how he wants to handle this after you are married and your finances are legally entwined. If there is no wedding date... it's tricky but I you could ask him anyway. Your fiance clearly knows how the game goes and is participating in it regardless. No point in pointing fingers at his sister when it's a game they mutually play. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    This is apparently the family dynamic they've set up and it probably existed long before you ever even met him. You may be able to convince your fiancé to prioritize saving or spending more on himself. But ultimately this is between them and until you're married it has nothing to do with you. Once you're married of course his money becomes marital assets and that's when you'd have a say on what he's doing. I'd advise you not to go through with marrying this guy until you've come to some agreement on this. 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Your problem is with him, not her. and its him you need to work this out with. 

    Since this could affect your life with him, it IS a good time to work this out together. Don't listen to those who say its none of your business, because as his future wife it will be. Otherwise you are accepting it as part of what will happen during your marriage too. If you two can't come to a compromise and AGREEMENT on this, then maybe he isn't the man for you? 

  • 4 weeks ago

    Do NOT marry this man, unless this issue is fully resolved, first, or unless you are willing to endure the same behavior for the rest of your married life.  The problem isn't with her, its with him, in that he gives in and pays up as a regular pattern.  The reply from Anonymous was a good one, take it to heart. (The first, longer one). Good wishes, 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You need to get this resolved before getting married.  Now that you're engaged, it's time to start having serious discussions about where each of you stand on major issues that can blow up marriages.  Financial disagreements are #1 on this list.  The other big issue is kids, and then things like careers, where you live, etc.

    Back to money.  I don't know what you mean about being cool or not disrespectful, because when you talk to him, you need to be DIRECT.  Have you ever asked him why he does it?  You could start the convo that way, but you need to make it clear that once you're his wife, he can't be doing this.  Once you're married, every penny each of you spends impacts the other.  So every penny he sends her is money he's taking away from his new "family" and certainly including any future kids.

    Finally, don't bring up the issue that she's married.  It has nothing to do with the real problem.  Even if she was single, he needs better financial priorities.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    "My fiancé MARRIED sister", what does That Mean?

    Regarding the rest of the question.

    It is none of your business, back off.

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