Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Is he trying to keep me at a distance or is he starting to think about a relationship?

Guy I’ve been hooking up with for a while now (a couple years) has started making weird comments. One of them being that since we spent two evenings in a row together/slept over that we can’t see each other for a month now. The other being that when I was at his place he was doing laundry and I offered to help fold and he said I couldn’t because you know what that leads too, but then I helped anyway since it was right there. After folding a couple things I stopped and then he asked why I stopped. Everything has been said in joking manners and we laughed and poked fun at each other but not sure why he keeps doing this. He’s also joked that we couldn’t get married bc he’d need to decompress after spending time with my family (again jokingly). He hasn’t met them but I tell him funny stories all the time, and he thinks we could be a sitcom. We’re really close, not seeing other people but his comments confuse me especially bc I haven’t pushed him for a relationship. 

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  • 1 month ago

    So what you describe is actually a friend with benefits relationship. It seems that he is not interested in making any kind of commitment to you and takes every opportunity to reinforce that. He invests just enough to continue to have sex with you! The problem as I see it is that you both are giving each other things that are supposed to be things shared in a romantic relationship but at an arm's length. Is this really what you want? Somehow I don't think so because you wouldn't be asking what you are if it was. So it begs the question, why do you continue to be with someone that you have emotionally bonded with but that is clearly refusing constantly to meet your true emotional needs? You are wasting the best years of your life, in my opinion, and you can never get them back. This is basically equivalent to paying the price for a five-star meal to buy a McDonald's cheeseburger! 

  • 1 month ago

    OK.... so I've read your story with all the clues and pointers you have put in to get us to arrive at the answer you want to hear. Aren't you TIRED of playing this game? Wouldn't it be better if you got yourself a real boyfriend, and you had a relationship instead of sleeping with someone who is not really interested in relationships, but happy to take the 'no ties' sex offered him by someone who is so desperate for attention, they allow themself to be used because it's better than nothing at all? Have you ANY idea how sad and desperate you sound? 

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