How to discipline my God daughter Savannah?

She is six years old.  95% of the time she is great, well behaved, but that other 5% is where the issues are involved.  My issues are she is not my child even if she was I hate spanking, yelling, threating, grounding children.  I am afraid to spank also do not want to injure .  I attempt to be serious which most times I am successful but there are times I end up laughing which I don't mean to but it happens.  I had very strict mom, sister, grandma and aunt.  With my type of upbringing I just figure out why I fail at being strict or discipline her myself.  Her parents have non-issue with the way I handle her so no idea why I feel like a failure sometimes.  

2 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    You obviously treat her well and she likes you.  If, when she's naughty, you show that you aren't pleased with her and tell her to stop doing whatever it is, she will learn not to do naughty things.  

  • 2 months ago

    I'm missing something:  are you caring for her on a regular basis?

    Regardless, a 6 year old child who is well behaved 95% of the time is pretty amazing.  Frankly, I know a lot of adults who aren't as well behaved lol.

    Why do you feel like a failure if she is mostly well behaved??  All children, all people do and say things they shouldn't sometimes.  What are her specific issues?

    I raised four kids.  I was raised in an abusive home, did not hit my kids, was rarely punitive beyond a time out.  The time outs weren't really punitive as much as a way for everyone involved, including myself, to get calm.  Positive reinforcement- rewarding kids for their good behavior (and it sounds like she does plenty to reward) is so much more impactful.

    If she is misbehaving, the most important thing is to remain calm.  Your emotions will only add to hers.  Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff.  Try to see things from her perspective, it helps to understand why a child is misbehaving: is she tired/hungry/bored, is she taking advantage of you/testing you?  Is she upset about something else?

    If her parents are fine with the way you handle her, stop beating yourself up.  You can have the best of both worlds: have fun with her while you are with her, then you can hand her back to her parents, sorta like being a grandparent :)

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