Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 4 weeks ago

Am I strict parent?

My parents started staying with us due to covid-19. Now my kids don't listen, they cry and talk back non stop. 

Worst of all, my wife doesn't tell the kids anything anymore. My parents have mentioned she doesn't tell them anything unless im home. My parents have and I have also argued about my kids because they try to correct my parenting in front of the kids so I've had to respectfully tell my parents to **** off. Then my wife takes my parents side when we both raise our kids the same way. 

What should I do, I don't want to tell my parents to get out at all but my wife and kids need to refocus because I cant deal with my kids talking back or not listening. 

I understand kids are kids, but my kids didn't talk back as much or we didn't have to tell them something more then 3 times. We have to tell the kids more then 10 times now 

I get it, grandparents are fun. But under my roof the rules still apply. The kids still need to be respectful and eat right at the table. 

2 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    I believe you right - you are the only person who can choose how to raise your kids.

    However, there are now the right methods of conveying it to your parents and wife. The only right method is one that will work. You may ask them, entreat, beg; you may read the information from the psychology site and gently explain to them that they are wrong. Or find a professional psychologist, who will judge between you. If that will not work, if the will chose a war, you need wage a war: say to f*** of, skrim, and even kick out.

    But, I need to notice, that older people do not always remember everything from the first time. Some times you need to teach them for the long term. Try to settle the quarrel with love

  • 4 weeks ago

    I think it's time for a couple of conversations: one with just the adults and one with everyone. The adults need to talk about roles and expectations and what this change has meant for the whole family. It's not okay for your parents to try to correct you in front of the kids, if they have concerns than they need to speak to you and your wife in private. You and your wife probably need to talk together as well, get back on the same page. This time is stressful for everyone, even kids whose family structure hasn't changed are more likely to be acting out because that's the only way they have to communicate their confusion and uncertainty right now. Then the whole family gets together and talks about expectations and consequences; you and your wife need to lead together and let the kids know that you have compassion for how hard things are right now, that you understand they must be confused and scared even about what's happening in the world, however, your family has expectations about how you treat each other. 

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