Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 3 months ago

Relationship turning sour, any life experience for me?

So me and this girl have been together for around 4 years, I really like her and things were great for around 2 years!

It all started when she moved in, after 1 year we started to get on each other's nerves. After 3 years I still have to tell her to do chores around the house otherwise she won't do anything at all.

I feel bossy all of the time, I never wanted to run the show... I just want a nice peaceful happy life where my contributions are accounted for and met with equal contributions.

I'm not great either, I spend a lot of money... drink a lot etc but I always try to keep the home tidy. We have problems on both sides of this relationship however just a few weeks ago she addressed my problems and wanted a resolution so I addressed her problems.

We're getting nowhere with this, I feel like I'm saying sorry all of the time for petty arguments that last longer than the actual chore would. I'm getting really angry all of the time, there is no effort in any task she does... she can't paint, decorate, garden, vacuum or mop the floors because these jobs require time... you can't rush it with no effort.

On top of all of this for the past 4 years she's never really had a sexual connection with me, we've had good moments but it's not consistent. She often complains her legs hurt, tired or she's sad.

I've told her I want to have kids and stuff but we can't with a house looking this way.

I've tried speaking to her, have I tried enough? I'm approaching the end I think.

Update:

We've tried to spice up things in the bedrooms

Nothing has worked, I've tried clearing up all her mess and within a week it's the exact way she left it. She doesn't want to move out, she doesn't want me to move out... she wants us to resolve our issues but offers no solutions.

We argue constantly about small tasks and then she wants to spend the next 2 hours apologising and hugging etc... I can't make her happy.

6 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    maybe you shouldnt be with her then

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Knowing your ages would be important as it could just be this was a youthful relationship that wasn't meant to carry over into full adulthood. But the reason we live together before marriage is to see if we have domestic compatibility. You've just learned that you and she don't have domestic compatibility. One supposes you could try couples therapy, but if she's just got a more relaxed attitude to household cleanliness than you do that's not going to change. Likewise if her complaint might be that you expect her to do all the chores, that attitude isn't going to change on your part either. So you'll probably end up breaking up. 

  • 3 months ago

    Oh for the love of God, just leave her. Asexual slob is really way less than anyone should settle for.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    How about praying to GOD and asking GOD about this?  GOD understands far more than we do. 

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  • Helen
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    If this is how it is after four years, imagine how it will be after 24...

    Perhaps relationship counselling could be a last-ditch attempt, but if this doesn't work, I would think that this relationship has run its course.

  • 3 months ago

    This relationship is pathetic. A relationship is being with someone and accepting them for who they are. She doesn't contribute equally. That's the way she is and you know it. If you don't like it then walk away. She is not going to change and you have a problem with it. Find someone who fits your criteria. You can't change people.

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