Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

Who should I choose, mom or wife?

My mom never paid too much attention to me so she bought me everything I wanted instead. I started to date by 13 years old and I am now married to my wonderful wife. We are both 29 years now. But my mother once I started dating struggled and tried to give me the attention I never got from her. But this time I refused and my wife was the one that cared about me even when we were both children. My wife is with any doubt the most important person in my life, but people criticize me. Please, tell me, am I wrong by choosing my wife? 

6 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    DO you realise you don't have to choose one or the other? That you can have both these people in your life - both your Wife and your Mother? Your Wife should be your priority, that's a given, but since your Mum IS making an effort why not try and see where that takes you two? 

  • 4 weeks ago

    why do u need to choose between your mother and your wife? u may love your wife and still continue loving your mother. just call her from time to time and come visit her eventually. it is not that much to ask

  • 4 weeks ago

    Was your mom a single mother? was she busy working all day long?  if so, I don't think you should judge your mother but instead you should show some appreciation for her... I admire single mothers because I imagine how tough it must be to be in their shoes... I know they could have "chosen" to abort their kids but instead they did the right thing and welcomed their kids into this world and took care of them..It looks like your mom worked very hard if she was able to buy you whatever you wanted. Please show appreciation for your mother... love her. 

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Who is telling you that you have to choose?  If it's your wife or mom then you have a bigger problem.  If it's other people then well, they don't matter.

    If it's mom/wife I'm saying you have a bigger problem because someone who loves you as a spouse or parent should wouldn't put you in a position like that where you had to choose between them.  That is a problem between them and something they need to work out but in all likelihood if that is the case, then you are in the middle.

    I've been married for 17 years next month and I've never told my husband it was me or his mom.  His mom though wasn't really a big fan of me in the beginning, I was divorced and had 2 small kids.  My husband was never married and had no kids, that was her issue with me and they are very well off and well I wasn't.  It wasn't him that had to convince her I was the right person or good enough for him...  it was me who needed to and over time I did.  I get along great with my MIL (and his whole family).  He also gets along well with my family.  I still am around my ex and his family too and my husband gets along with them too.

    In the end, there isn't a person alive I'd pick over my husband.... not even the kids but then again he'd never put me in a position I needed to.  

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago


  • 4 weeks ago

    You’re not wrong for choosing your wife because she’s been there but maybe your mother actually wants to mend your relationship maybe you and your mother should have dinner together alone and talk, best of luck 

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