Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Should I break up with him? ?

Ok, no sarcastic comments please. I need actually need advice. My BF and I have known each other for a long time and have been dating for almost 3 years. Over the course of the relationship, many things have happened,however, I wanted to make it work, so I stuck around. Recently, I’ve been feeling like he’s just not into the relationship anymore. He works constantly (which everyone has to work) but he works two jobs and puts in more hours than most. Then when he comes home, he tired, which I understand this but he makes no time for me and puts no effort into the relationship anymore. Texting him feels like a chore, when we’re apart. However, when he isn’t working he seems very consumed by sports and his friends. When we actually do hang out, he’s on his phone constantly texting or watching sports. I have told him I feel like he doesn’t have time for the relationship and is not making it a priority anymore but he sees this as complaining. He’s always been hard working but it feels like his focus has shifted to other things. This is completely fine but I just don’t think I want to be in the relationship anymore. There seems to be a lack of balance. Would you be with someone who was hyper focused on other things and didn’t prioritize you or make you feel valued or like they cared? Just confused at the moment. 

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    You are not happy in the relationship. And it might be because he does this or doesn't do that but the bottom line is that you are unhappy, unfulfilled and feel lonely loving a man who isn't participating in the sort of relationship you want to have. If you don't want to be in this relationship and can't change the relationship then pointing fingers at him is not the sort of progressive move that will grow your mind, your heart, your perceptions of direction. It's not actually about him. It's about YOU! If you don't want to settle, unwed and just 3 years in, with this man being who HE wants to be... then don't. Staying in a relationship that you are unhappy in and isn't growing and is only a priority to you is a form of self harm. Is he working so hard to support you? Be self supporting.  You don't have to hate him to break up. He doesn't have to be a bad guy for you to move on. You are the designer of your life. YOU are. It's not essential that you continue to audition for a role you've been in rehearsal for but don't like! 

  • 1 month ago

    If I felt like you then I'd leave him.  He has to make time for you otherwise what are you?  A housekeeper?  Head Cook and Bottle-washer?  Free sex when he fancies it?  Someone to do his laundry?  If he doesn't make time for you then you need to leave because this relationship has certainly run out of steam and you are both in a rut.  He gets out of it with his sport and his mates.  You get nothing much do you.

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