Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

Im worried I could kill myself “by accident”?

I’ve gotten some Good support on here regarding women. You know at the last minute when you really don’t want to and When you try things in the heat of the moment. I emailed the Samaritans they are honestly useless. I feel like they are there because they have to be rather than they actually want to help. 

I’m 22. I am stuck in Tesco with the most rude and incredibly obnoxious of customers and staff alike. I currently have an “ice pick headache” which I never in my life have had before which could last months so could be part of my positivity blindness. I have gotten laid by prostitution and has made me feel very shallow. I can talk to girls pretty well but I have never had a relationship and cannot seem to even get to a theorised talking stage probably because I assume girls are disinterested in me from the get go because that’s how it look and based on rational probability of how it’s already turned out. I spend so much money and am materialistic as a person and I can’t help it at times. I get very lonely and worried that one day I’m just going to do something by accident. I am in 12k debt for a car I need to gradually pay off which didn’t give me what I thought it would except a little fun to work there and back but routine over many years should hopefully fix that. I am very alone. Spend a lot of time in my room, feel like everyone has a fake persona to get through their own issues and no one wants to get on with anyone. . I just do not know what to do anymore. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    First off, what I'm gonna say takes it for granted that the whole covid situation won't last forever but it might make doing things a little slower than otherwise so don't start off thinking, "but that's impossible," it  might mean being more patient and sometimes moving diagonally.

    I don't think that you're shallow.  What you've just written shows more introspection than by many twice your age. Also, don't feel like 22 is too old to change.  Like just about every young person your age you're hoping for the magical relationship to come along and wake you up out of yourself, and that's a normal thought process but it's also back to front.  I can also see why your job's getting down.  People are total knobs at the front end of customer service.

    What do you want to do when you grow up?  Do you have a dream job in mind?  What qualifications have you got?  Where they the ones you wanted or were you pushed into them against your gut instinct?  Have you ever taken a good psychometric test, the kind where all kinds of jobs you've never heard of come up and you look into them and think, "I could definitely see myself doing that"?  There's a sort of confidence that comes from doing a job to which you're suited and that obviously spills over into every other aspect of life.

    When I've needed to get away from myself to think things through I've found it good to work with my hands.  It stills the surface turmoil.  You're young enough for a working holiday visa.  Have you thought about getting one and spending a year down under?  (I'm thinking this might be some of the adrenaline you're looking for, and maybe girls.  People are more open to the casual when there's little risk of accidentaly getting serious.)  Or if you want to stay closer to home try the conservation trust (though not so much adrenaline):

    https://www.tcv.org.uk/

    I've been involved in projects for many years not because I want to be a champion drystone dyker but because it's not my usual circle of people and it forces me to be real and not online.  It's a little vaction from myself.  Maybe it's for you or you can think of something else you wouldn't usuallu do to give you a shake.

    That car of yours sounds like a millstone (yeah, I totally get why you bought it).  Do you think CAB (the citizen advice bureau) or better yet Step Change might be able to help you get out of the finance agreement?  Step Change might be a good place to get help with comfort spending.  Another thing you can do for you is to open an ISA and pay into it at the start of every month to cut down the cash available to you.  It will be there for later (get the best interest you can find) as a rewatd for sorting your head out.  (Or of you have trustworthy family ask your mum to keep your money safe from you, especially if you want to go back to education and fall right on the knife's edge between support or no).

    Social media is an addicting time suck.  If you have to get apps that literally limit the time you can spend on there.  Everyone is fake on social media because the platforms themselves are designed to turn people into carcatures.  It's not healthy but it's where people gather now, so that's why I'm being realistic an not suggesting deleting everything.  Be someone you'd like to deal with irl.  Be well groomed and polite and strangers, banter with friends by all means, but don't be mean.  Love has a habit of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.  You need to be open to it, I suspect you know what I mean about that.  It's a lot like learning to ride a boke - you fall off a lot in the begin but once you get the hang of it....

    Just remember, the place you're at right now isn't forever.  It's just where you are right now.

  • 1 month ago

    Why have you not sought out help from the obvious means of help, a psychologist?  You are a person who is this extremely depressed.  Seek help.  You can't go it alone.  In this day and age we all need some help along the way, at different times in our own lives.  Are you embarrassed to go to a psychologist?  Don't be.  The Life you save will be your own. . One word of advise:   Interview five psychologists, and then pick the one who you connect with.  You know the feeling.  An inner part of you says, "Yes, this is the one."  I wish you well. .

  • Ar
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Try to be a little bit positive.  Life is hard.  Being or finding someone special it is not easy.  I am not in one, and I am much older than you.  People on social media are not real friends,  trust me I have plenty of those.  They only call or text when they need something. 

    I would say enjoy the time that you are single.  It is much easier...

    This virus thing has made a lot people a little on the edge. If you feel down.  Just go for a walk.  I am sure there are a lot of parks in there.  As for the dying in an accident don't worry to much about. There are a lot of actors that we do that could get us killed during the day.  If you are worried about damaging your car, you could upgrade your insurance coverage. 

  • martin
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Take a trip.  You are in the misery of single life.  Go about your business, exercise, eat right.  Decide what it is in life that you really believe in and stick to that.  Wear good clothes, be well-groomed.  Love will find you, most likely.

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