Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 4 weeks ago

My boyfriend is sleeping 20+ hours per day since Christmas?

I guess you would call him a gig worker. He is a subcontractor painter and drywaller. Last September things got slow. Not a lot of work. He was getting calls from two construction companies that kept saying all they could offer was minimum wage. He does some work on his own, but subcontracting is more than half. Naturally things slow down the last few weeks of the year and the beginning few weeks of the new year. February was not too good. March-May 2as nothing at all. Because the government sees him as self employed, no unemployment or other assistance. He worked two six hour shifts per week at minimum wage at a $1 store. He was deeply humiliated. He quit in June because bans had been lifted. He has had no subcontracting work at all. A few days work on his own, maybe made $1000 in the past 5 weeks.. He doesn't eat. He doesn't wash. He just sleeps waiting for the phone to ring, but it rarely does. He has easily lost 75 lbs since March. He went from perhaps 15 lbs overweight to skin and bones. His clothes drape weird on him he is so thin. He looks sick. He is sick. Money is good, but if he doesn't get back to work soon, I think he might die. He doesn't want to do anything. He sleeps by the phone. The telemarketers make him so angry.

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    Sounds like he is severely depressed. He needs help. Does he have parents or siblings you could ask to help you with him? 

  • 4 weeks ago

    He might be eligible for unemployment. From an article about CARES - 

    "The CARES Act signed into law by President Trump on March 27, 2020, gives states the option of extending unemployment compensation to independent contractors and other workers who are ordinarily ineligible for unemployment benefits. Please contact your state’s unemployment insurance office at the website or phone number provided below to learn more about the availability of these benefits where you live."

    What you're talking about sounds like a very bad case of depression. There's a lot of things that can help with depression but treating depression with self-help alone is experimental and treating severe depression this way is very risky.

    I would talk with your local social services (211?) and ask if there's any free therapy in your area. This is an article about the ACA (Obamacare).

    There's a lot of low-cost, low-risk things that can help with depression. 

    Details here, under DEPRESSION TREATMENTS -

    Of all the basic lifestyle choices, the one with the best evidence is exercise, and you don't have to be an athlete to benefit from it. Research shows that when people suffering from depression go for long walks with friends, this is very therapeutic (source - the lifestyle-depression project at the University of Kansas). Things that take your mind off your problems for a while, like a funny movie, are helpful, as long as you don't let them dominate you.   

    Of all the traditional Asian methods (meditation, tai chi, etc.) the one with the best evidence for helping people with mood problems is controlled breathing. I have information about therapeutic breathing recommended by psychiatrists Brown and Gerbarg and PTSD therapist Emma Seppala in my answers. This is safe and requires no training.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Does your boyfriend have any family members you can talk to?  Perhaps you can enlist their help to get your boyfriend to see a doctor.  He needs a complete exam to help determine what his problem is.  This isn't something you can handle on your own.

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