Would you agree that the marriage ceremony is primarily for the female?
or for both equally, or primarily for the man. The reason I ask is because I had a college professor of a class called "Marriage and the Family" say quite adamantly that it was for the female because females need the security; legally, morally and economically. Do you agree?
- Andrew SmithLv 71 month agoFavourite answer
A lot depends on the word "IS". Simply because at different times different people benefit in different ways. In the USA at the moment the marriage CEREMONY has become an obscene indulgence of conspicuous consumption making the female the entire centre of the process. In this event the groom has the same status as the handbag. Something that is a necessary accessory to complete the outfit but of little more value than that. As you can gather I am no fan of this type of hedonism.
The professor does not seem to be speaking about the ceremony so much as the framework of what a marriage represents.
To some extent he is right in that a woman becomes defenseless when she is pregnant and burdened with young children so the protections offered are necessary if society wants to have children produced.
But the children are also something that the male wants so that biologically he is benefiting from having someone to carry his offspring.
Even now this view is under threat. With same sex marriage being given equal status it is no longer possible to claim that the marriage was a framework to provide for the protection of, and production of, children.
So in reality we have, at the moment, no idea of what marriage SHOULD mean.
- Dr. StephanieLv 71 month ago
You have now asked 349 questions, apparently, there's a lot of interest on your part in receiving advice? I'm not sure I agree with your professor as to the reasons, but wedding ceremonies have always been primarily about the bride.
- Anonymous1 month ago
Any American father like me who’s been drawn and quartered in our no fault divorce/custody “family” (yeah right....) court system in this country knows that marriage is totally for the benefit of the woman. All that “until death do us part” sh it. The “marriage contract” is a sick joke. After going through what I went through with a brutal divorce and having my life destroyed by my ex-wife who wasn’t just content for us to part ways but actually had to try to obliterate my existence, and witnessing her do everything in her power, with the court’s help (to make matters worse she was actually employed by the same court) to ruin my son’s life by marrying her fourth husband who abused him afterwards....I can understand why men become gay. Totally. To be honest I’m a little bit worried that my son is heterosexual now. Because I know what could be in store for him.
- Anonymous1 month ago
It seems L & P refer to the absurdly ostentatious orgy of conspicuous consumption & glitter that we see an entire genre of cloying, trashy movies made about. I wonder how sincere those displays are. Of everyone I know who've bothered to get married, those who had such a "display" wedding seemed to part in a rather short time. Meanwhile, those of us who had quick. modest, low-key ceremonies are still going strong many years later.
People err in assuming the purpose of marriage is to have brats, or for only one or other partner. To all of us who have enjoyed long-term success, it was always all about making a public display of love for & commitment to our partners. No matter who is marrying whom, I contend that this is the only real reason. To hold that it's all for the advantage of one or the other is both short-sighted & ridiculous. Your professor is yet another example of a person who is well-educated but who really knows little or nothing about life.
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- seedy historyLv 71 month ago
My husband proposed. He gave me the ultimatum. He planned the wedding. He designed the cake. He chose the venues, he planned the menu, we wrote the invitations together and all I did for the wedding was show up. I thought the wedding was for HIM.
- RPLv 71 month ago
One could suppose there are only three possibilities, one favoring neither, a second favoring one partner, and a third favoring another partner. While there are legal reasons for marriage, if that is the sole basis for getting married, it is unlikely such a marriage would last.
- keerokLv 71 month ago
Wedding ceremonies are primarily held for the purpose of announcing to everyone that a man and a woman have already claimed by each other, and no one should do anything to break them apart. This means that the woman shouldn't be wooed by other men and that other women shouldn't entertain the man if he attempts to woo them. With today's doggone cultural society however, legalities, moral values and economics are all thrown out the window.
- Patrick4024Lv 71 month ago
I do agree that it seems to almost always be the woman who wants the formal weddings. Most guys would settle for a private five minute ceremony.
- EnguerarrardLv 71 month ago
Marriage has a long history, and ever since private property in the form of livestock or land entered the picture, it has always had an economic component. It was also primarily about children, and fostering their well being into adulthood. That requires an emotional and economic investment from both (or more in the case of polygamous arrangements) partners. A contract to do this, which is what marriage is, creates the stability necessary to meet this end.
Some marriages were strictly political among the upper classes, and though women there had many privileges, they had few rights. In England right up until the latter half of the 19th century, wives were legally considered property, which was hardly to their benefit.
- 1 month ago
The marriage ceremony dates back to a time when women were objects who were "owned" by men. The ceremony marked the transfer from being her father's possession to being her husband's possession. Fortunately, more modern versions of the ceremony are a little more egalitarian, but women still want someone to "give them away".