Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

Why did you have kids?

im having trouble trying to figure out what it is that makes people want to have kids. Like i dont want kids, never did, and my boyfriend wants a kid eventually. I always ask why because the person that would be doing most of the baby duties would be me. The time that the baby would be my responsibility would be somewhere between 7am and 7pm. Literally the only time the baby would be awake. Most of the time thats also a toddlers schedule. He would literally only see them at dinner and maybe sunday if he would actually take a damn day off work.

I have a kid already, but im miserable because it drains my mental and physical energy to the point i sit in bed all day. Whyd i have her then? Because i wanted an abortion and my last boyfriend wouldnt pay for it (thats a whole other story about him guilting me to stay home and not work to watch his other child thats not mine). 

But this isnt about that. I cant find a single reason id have another kid, and just wanted to know everyone elses answer on why they had kids.

("because i wanted to" isnt a good enough answer, WHY because?)

5 Answers

  • 1 month ago

    If you only had a child bc a BF wanted one, even though he didn't respect that you didn't want kids is a huge red flag that you don't have the ANYTHING needed to raise a healthy happy child. Frankly, you prioritize your uncommitted partners wants over your own and then the child is several rungs down the line makes me want to call CPS. I hate to agree with the lady who said give up your kid for adoption and then get you're tubes tied. but yeah, your kid likely deserves a far better parent than what you are. Kids are people not pawns in a relationship. Please get your tubes tied ASAP. Stop asking WHY others have kids, and realize you are NOT EVER going to be the right person to be a parent. I'm not trying to be mean, but kids are small helpless and didn't asked to be hear, especially not for some pathetic drip's need to please her current BF who ever that may be at the time. Allowing you lack of self worth, coupled with an odd sort of narcissism to be a reason a child is born, is just hateful towards that child. Please get some help. Anyway, asked, so. 

    People have kids for a multitude of reasons:

    1. Because they want to have a family because they feel it will make their lives more complete.

    2. To "bond" with a new lover/spouse.

    3. To gratify a part of the ego that sees a child as being a legacy, and extension of themselves.

    4. As an insurance policy so someone will care for them when they are old.

    5. because they are borderline BPD and need someone they can both control and demand love from in manipulative ways.

    6. To live out their own failed dreams which they intend to project onto their kids.

    7. Because they are ignorant/apathetic of the fact that sex can lead to babies, and have no foresight as to how their actions will affect their child. They believe everything will just fall into place.

    8. Because they are pressured into it, by friends, family, spouses, religion, societal social norms (don't want to be a weirdo, or have people thinking bad things about you, even though they should be minding their own GD business, but can't because they don't have lives and are pathetic).

    9. Because they are royals and are obligated to provide at least two heirs.

    10. Because they like babies and want the job of being a parent.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If your daughter is that much of a burden to you, you should consider putting her up for adoption, so she has a chance of growing up in a home with parents who will love and provide for her. Keeping her with you right now is unfair to both of you. You obviously aren't cut out to be a parent, and she needs to have the security of having BOTH parents in her life in order to develop normally.

    And for your daughter's sake, I hope that she never learns that you wanted to murder her before she was born, and for such an incredibly selfish reason.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Having kids means you're on their schedule not yours. But don't forget about yourself tho.

  • 1 month ago

    Haha honestly my kid came into existence based on a split second decision. In the moment type of thing.

    I don't want another one though. It's a lot of time and energy and requires a lot of money from birth to age eighteen.

    Despite being a split second decision I knew what I was doing while being absorbed in the moment.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I wanted a mini me.

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