how to get ultimate confidence in yourself and not be afraid?

in my life, throughout it, i have had my confidence knocked and undermined by others constantly......now as a man in my early forties, i still struggle with my self confidence, self esteem and commonly feel afraid of life and people.....have an anxiety disorder too.

i'm not the best looking of males, have a big skull, bushy mustache, and are not confident about how i look, i feel self conscious, im bald too.

still, how can i summon ultimate confidence and not be afraid of anything? i want to command life and people and not allow it to command me or subdue me.

any help?

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    You often talk about "commanding". Do try not to think in such aggressive terms. Most of us are happy to settle for being reasonably competent in ordinary, daily situations.

    The description you give of your appearance is not in itself in any way off-putting. I know half a dozen men who match your description, but they all have friends and a life.

    As I understand it from previous posts, you live alone in a not-very-desirable area in the UK, and have a mental condition that makes you unusually sensitive to imagined insults and slights. This is the result of an extreme self-consciousness, and the only way to overcome that is by switching your focus away from yourself and onto other people.

    Not in an aggressive way, and not even by speaking to them. Just observing other people as you go about your street and the shops, and thinking about THEM rather than about yourself. Don't make eye contact - it can be construed as aggressive - unless actually speaking to someone. Just think about these people, try to imagine what their lives are like, what problems and struggles they may be trying to cope with too.

    Then go home and maybe write down some of your thoughts while you treat yourself to a good mug of tea.

    This may all sound a bit "home-spun" but I would think it was worth a try.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i would talk to your therapist about it

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