Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Who should I move in with? ?

I have been married for less than one year and in that time frame my husband has had online relationships with 3 different women. A month ago he was also arrested for illegal online activity involving children and is currently out on bond.

I am now left with making a difficult decision. Should I play the part of a good wife and try to work things out with him and hope we can have a good future? We dated for 4 years before getting married and all of those times were good. I do still have love in my heart for him even though he hurt me.

Should I move in with my sister and her family who live right down the road? I can stay with them for a few months until I can get on my feet again. We live in a small town though and it would be nearly impossible to avoid my husband, his family, and his friends.

Or should I move in with my grandparents who live in a different town? This would mean starting completely over, having to find a new job, having to make new friends, everything.

I am currently 25 years old and I do not have a drivers license. If I stay with my husband he will continue to drive me where I need to go because he doesn't like it when I drive. If I move in with my sister I will have to depend on her for a ride to and from work and she will also help teach me how to drive. If I move in with my grandparents they live in town so I can easily walk anywhere I need to go for the time being and I will have to find a driving school to help me get my license. 

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Don't even think about staying with him.  Four years doesn't mean much if you didn't use that time to truly get to know him, and this is what happened here.  He's a controlling, selfish pervert.  Also, if you want kids, you can't possibly bring them into the world with a pedo.  That would be incredibly selfish, they'd grow up hating you, and you'd end up hating yourself.

    It sounds like  your grandparents are the best option.  You'll get  a fresh start and also I'm sure they could use some help around the house.  This will make you feel like all of you are helping each other, rather than you needing them for a place to stay.

    Finally, some tough love.  It's concerning you didn't mention anything about divorce.  A DL is important, but a divorce is a lot more critical right now.   After only a year and no kids, this should be a simple matter and  you have got to make it your #1 priority. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    The first step would be to get independent. You need to get your license and make a plan. Getting far away from this guy is a good idea because if he's going down for activity with minors it'll be pretty easy for the prosecutor to make a case against you too. Move in with Sis while you get your life together, shouldn't take more than about six months to get a driver license, then go start over with your grandparents. 

  • 1 month ago

    Whether he likes it or not GET YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE. ( and a car).  You cannot afford to let yourself be controlled like this.  I would attempt to work other things out.  But there needs to be a balance of rights and responsibilities or there is only capitulation which doesn't work

  • 1 month ago

    You said: "A month ago he was also arrested for illegal online activity involving children and is currently out on bond."


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  • 1 month ago

    This is a liberal forum and as such the most given advice is “get a divorce” or  “you don’t need that loser” or “find a new man” . 

    I’m not a liberal so I’d advice you to work things out with your husband.

  • 1 month ago

    anywhere but with him

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