Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Dad is always taking out his frustrations on me? Any advice?

He's always stressed due to work but when he comes home he takes it out on me. He always screams at me calling me useless and stupid and throw things around. Sometimes he would hit my head especially when I say something back so I'm usually quiet and obedient. I always feel like puking. It's so irritating like why take it out on me when it's due to your work?! I know family is supposed to share problems with each other and sometimes I feel guilty because I can't do much but can't he do it in a calm manner instead of screaming? Am I allowed to feel mad? Should I be a good child and endure? My mom gets mad at me when I get mad at my dad? I know he's my dad and he's given me everything I wanted and has supported me growing up. I've always been told to respect my parents and repay back what they have done for me but I can't take it sometimes. Any advice? Am I being petty or what should I do?? I'm not sure if this is a proper question but I'm just so annoyed.

3 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Tell yourself, no matter how personal your father makes it, that it isn't.  Because it really isn't.   He's stressed, tired, angry, scared (anger is born from hurt/fear) and miserable.  Miserable people tend to spread their misery.  I'm not excusing how he treats you, or your mom's enabling of it, but it helps to remember why people do what they do.  I'm going to guess the way he was raised also has a lot to do with why he is this way.

    When he spouts off, keep calm, don't talk back because you know that will never end well.   There is no reasoning with people when they are angry.  If you feel comfortable enough to choose a time when you are both calm, to tell him how you feel....start with something like, hey dad, I know you're stressed, I appreciate how hard you work and everything you provide for us.  Then tell him how his behavior is affecting you.

    Regardless of whether or not you think you can safely and effectively approach him about this, you have to take measures to protect yourself, especially emotionally.  Of course you can be mad....you are being mistreated.  However, remind yourself that your anger hurts you, and if you let it, it will hurt those you love throughout your life....just like your father. 

    Parents should not automatically get respect when they act like children themselves, treating their own children with disrespect.  Respect them for what they do for you, for their good qualities and use their mistakes to teach you what NOT to do.  You owe them nothing btw, no you absolutely do not have to repay what they have done for you.  They chose to bring you into this world, they are not your obligation.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should call cps and if youre older move out

  • Aiden
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    First try talking to him about it. If that doesn't work then you have 5 options.

    - Learn to not care

    - Fight him

    - Blackmail him.

    - Move to a friend or family's house.

    - Get child services involved.

    Think about the costs and benefits of each one and make your decision. Don't threaten your Dad or tell him about the actions you could take unless you think blackmailing him might work. Once you've made your decision, live with the consequences. 

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