Is my husband too comfortable?
I allowed a female friend to stay over for couple of weeks to our home although a lot of people said it was a bad idea, since my husband and I are still newlyweds.. but now I'm starting to regret it. He can't seem to shut the bathroom door behind him when he's using the restroom to urinate... etc... I found him walking around with his boxers once downstairs to change for work... & Last but not least, I asked him for his dirty clothes to wash and he acted like he was pulling his pants down to give to me WHILE MY FRIEND WAS PRESENT!. Am I being disrespected? I know he's very playful but I don't know what to think anymore. Should I accept this? Am I being too hard on myself? Please help cause I feel tired of all the arguments, him not seeing where I'm coming from.. making me look like a boring wife that gets mad for everything
She actually pulled out her phone to record him pulling down his pants !
- LindaLv 71 month agoFavourite answer
Your husband is half the problem here, but your friend sounds like she is egging it on if she pulled out her phone to record him and she may be flirting with him when you aren't looking? Your friend has been there two weeks and it's time for her visit to end. Tell her that you love her company but you really need some time alone with your new husband. If she is any kind of friend, she'll respect you and move out. Two is company and three is a crowd. Good luck!!
- 1 month ago
When it's just the two of you, have a "reminder we have company over" chat (i.e. close the door behind you when you use the washroom, don't walk around the house in your underpants, etc.) and that she is your friend (by that, you don't want to do anything to make her uncomfortable).
- DavidLv 61 month ago
OK, your husband obviously feels comfortable in his own home, and that is the way it should be. As long as he's not deliberately trying to put on a show for your friend, then he can be naked in his own house. YOU (the wife) should have no problem with that.
Assuming your female friend is an ADULT, then she (your friend) should have absolutely no problem with your husband running around naked in your husband's own home. After all, his behavior (just being naked) is not going to harm her in any way. And if she's ever uncomfortable, she can just look away. Or if she's the playful type, she might think it's funny to whip out the cell phone and record video...
And if your husband is comfortable being naked around her, then he should play along with the joke, if she does whip out her cell phone to start recording. It's all in good fun, and no harm done...
Now, you as the wife wonder if you are being disrespected? Nope, not at all. The behavior of your husband and your female friend is the exact OPPOSITE of disrespect. They both expect you to be mature enough to handle living around adults who are acting like...adults.
Why would you expect your husband to act differently in his own home, just because there is another lady present? If he started acting weird because she was around, then that would indicate that he's interested in her romantically...or that he's hoping she might develop a romantic interest in him. But his behavior indicates that he doesn't care that she's around. He's going to be himself, whether she likes that or NOT. He's happy either way. And her behavior indicates she's going to handle his shenanigans very maturely. She chooses not to be offended or upset (which is a good thing, as he has done nothing wrong) and even plays along with his games, all in good fun....
There is disrespect in your household, but it is coming from YOU, and directed at your husband and your female friend. The fact that their behavior seems to bother you is insulting to your husband and your friend. You are creating problems in your own mind, and that is the ONLY place the problems actually exist....
- jimanddottaylorLv 71 month ago
Did you ask your husband how he felt about having this guest for a couple of weeks.? This might be his way of saying that it is his home and he did not ask for this guest, and he intends to go the extra mile to enjoy his own house.
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- BortLv 61 month ago
I think you should make an attempt at lightening up a bit. If you're always getting stressed and upset and "mad" at things that stresses him out. My guess is either he did those things because...well...it's his home. And he might possibly have started taking his dirty pants off to be silly/funny? Or he's dumb.
Either way I say lighten up a bit. Learn to laugh instead of getting upset.
We're only here once. We're supposed to be enjoying it.