How often do you expect a hug from your mate?

My wife is still on this kick to where she's angry I don't hug her enough. From day one I told her I'm not a huggy, touchy, feely person. I was raised in a large family and even thought there was a lot of laughs and love we didn't just go around hugging just to say hi or good morning. We've been together some 17 years and in our 50s now and you would thought I have never touched her. I am just the type of person who doesn't need a lot of physical touch to feel loved. If I give her 1 or 2 hugs a week she's fine. But if I forget to give her a hug then she gets all bent out of shape. How often do you expect a hug from your mate and do things like that change once you've been in a relationship with them some 10 or 15+ years?

14 Answers

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  • Topaz
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    If u been married all this time and don't hug your wife more than 2x a week u been missing out on some big love. And u refuse to change???! Yikes!! U know theore u do something u like it even love it. I've seen men hug their wives in stores and they get all gushy and cute

     That's what's keeps marriages strong. What happens if I don't replace the grease in the ball joints in your car? Right! The friction breaks down the part and gets worn out no lubrication. Same with marriage. Yeah u can hug a little (yawn I'm bored) or a lot and have such fun

     I'm glad she lasted this long most wives don't

     We women need that lubrication our man telling he lives us and the connection with hugging. No hugging is like eating without swallowing

     Or driving a 2021 Lexus with no gas. Go hug that marvelous woman. Tell her u r so sorry and u wilake it up to her. Get 100 index cards and write down hug me now and give them to her. When she gives u a card hug her

     After the 100 cards are gone u won't need them anymore

     U will be doing it all on your own

     P S u will be a different man. Watch and see.

  • 1 month ago

    Just to keep me sane a few times a day. I need loads of physical touch and love. We must touch in our sleep, and hug daily and cuddle and have sex. Loads of physical expression of love. 2-3 times a week is really unacceptable for me.

  • 1 month ago

    But you're not married to your family. What's wrong with giving your wife a hug? Especially when you know it means so much to her.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You shouldn't expect it, but give it willingly.  Since you are not a huggy person and told your wife that, she should repect it and not demand it.

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  • 1 month ago

    I would hug my girl countless times every day.   And even multiple times when asleep.  And I have been with her for 50 years.  I also hold hands when we walk together along with many other little signs or tokens of how lucky I am to be with her.

  • 1 month ago

    I don't expect a hug from my husband ever. In fact, he's not a general hugger. Thinking on it now, he has when my grandmother passed, or he felt I needed comforted in some way. We've been married less than 10 years, so I can't speak for 10-15 years ... but I also can't see things changing, in that respect. In my opinion, it doesn't make sense to expect a simple hug. There has to be a reason for it, even if you just want to. To just do it to do it, it makes no sense to me. *Shrugs* Maybe she's lacking something. Do you show her affection simply because you love her? Do you do things that make her feel loved? etc. Maybe the issue is there, and not exactly with the hugging ... I don't know. Why not try cuddling her till she falls asleep, when you go to bed etc. She might appreciate that. Good luck

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Hugs?  Most days.  Don't try to spin this as your wife's issue that you warned her about.  You have providing a certain number of hugs the length of your marriage and apparently recently that has eased up ... like sex.  She isn't asking anything more of you than you provided in your earlier years, just to not offer less.

    But if by chance "hugs" is a euphemism for sex.  Well that is a different story.

  • boj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I expect hugs daily but dont make a big deal of it if it doesnt happen. My husband wasnt raised in a touchy feeling family either but because I desire it he compromises to satisfy me. We're in mid forties and after married 15 yrs...  he enjoys the intimacy of hugs as much as i do. If the shoe was on the other foot what would you expect from her? If you would want her to compromise to satisfy you then you in like manner, yield to satisfy her. 

  • Jesere
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't Expect,  I want him to hug me because he wants to.... and we hug many times a day, we have been together 10 years now...

    Spring 1975...dated all summer,  parted ways in the Fall......he was off to  college and I was reporting for duty in the Navy.  Spring 2010 found each other after 35 years, been together since.  

    How about meeting her in the middle, a hug lasts only a few seconds, yet the positive feeling lasts so much longer. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I've been with my OH for over a decade. We hug at least a few times a day. Physical contact is something that benefits both.

    Just work it into your movements - if you're in the same space, reach out.

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