Should I ask for my bank card back?

Basically for about 3 years I suffered from an eating disorder, bulimia and was spending ridiculous amounts of money on food, even using my husband’s credit card without asking him it was really that bad. Now I’ve been recovered since September last year but what I did was give my husband my bank card so I simply can’t waste money anymore, it was my decision. But now, I know I’m better and would really like the freedom of having access to money if I need it, he’s going back to work full time soon and I only work part time so don’t earn much but tired of asking for a couple of pounds here and there just in case I might want to buy something. I did say I wanted him to control all finances so now I feel if I ask for it back he might wonder why plus he said we’re better off now he’s managing what we both earn and where it goes on bills, shopping etc. He also has online banking now with my bank account. I wonder if I should have ever given up my card because he’s got comfortable with how things are, how on earth do I ask for it back now and should I? 

7 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Take the easy way out. Cancel the bank card that's in your name now; have the bank issue you a new card in your name, and don't give it to your husband. 

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You both need to sit down with a finanacial counselor and make out a budget.  Set aside a small amount of money for you to spend.  I would not give you the bank card as of yet so you learn to budget your money.

  • 1 month ago

    Because possibly giving you back your bank card might create you to be able to go back to bad behavior that you don’t know that you be doing but subconsciously that’s why you have a process in your thoughts and sometimes we have no control of that. And maybe he sees that were you down and so his little wary of giving you the bankcard. On the down low you could say hey I like my debit card back Envelopes to me so let me have it I gave it to you I didn’t say you could have it forever and then he should give it back. May be compromised like let’s make a deal and tell him that you’ll give him back did you have a car did you screw on something here or there and maybe he’ll feel more confident in her for sure that things are gonna get out of hand.And were you giving him your debit card you gave it to him because you knew you had a problem and you knew that you were out of control so you did the right thing. Because there’s times that I give people my debit card because I get out of control myself. But it’s never been more than a day because then I kick your butt they didn’t give it back to us good luck.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Since you are working, you have a right to have access to some of your own money to spend without asking your husband's permission. The two of you should sit down and agree on how much money EACH of you can spend without asking permission of the other. Since you have had a problem in the past, it might be a good idea for you to have a spending limit temporarily.  Once you've shown that you can handle the responsibility, it would be a good idea for you to jointly handle finances so that you know what's going on. It's never good for 1 person to have all of that responsibility and the other partner to be totally ignorant of what goes on.

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  • Judith
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Instead of getting your card back, get an allowance.  My mother gave my father an allowance every payday for all but the first two years of their marriage (they were married over 60 years).  He screwed up big time those first two years.  He knew that when the money was spent he wasn't getting anymore until the next payday.  They never argued about it so it must have been a reasonable allowance giving him the freedom to golf, bowl,hunt, go to a tavern with friends without ever having to ask for more.  That way he didn't waste money on things he didn't need.  Mom covered the big stuff like mortgage payments, utilities, groceries, clothing, schooling, dr and dental care, etc.

    Frankly I don't think people should use credit cards but should pay as they go.  It's a waste of money if you don't pay off the bill in full each month.  Do without until you can pay cash.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Life is short, go for it.

  • Tavy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Simple, you just ask your bank for a replacement card, don't ask him ask them, say you have lost it.

    UK

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