Nami asked in Pregnancy & ParentingAdoption · 1 month ago

Adoption and Culture ?

I was adopted but i struggle with how i can connect with my dad’s culture, even though he was adopted too. 

My dad’s adoptive dad was Tongan. 

My dad has practiced some traditions from the Tongan Culture. We still even carry our Tongan family name. 

I am white, and i want to learn more and participate more in our culture, but i feel as if i am pushing some invisible boundary or trying to be a part of a culture i’m only slightly adopted into. 

I was visiting my new primary care doctor earlier this week and she was asking about where my last name came from, as it was unusual, especially since i’m white lol. I told her a bit about our history and she was inquiring even more about how much i have immersed myself into the culture and i told her i didnt know as much as i wish i did. 

she encouraged me to learn more and to practice the culture more..

i just dont want to step on anyone’s toes, seeing as i was only adopted into it by someone else who was adopted into it too. I have so much family over in Tonga and i want to be able to connect with them more. 

i have seen a bunch on parents needing to adopt a child’s culture, but i have not seen anything about helping a kid adopt their parents. 

1 Answer

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Your saying you don’t want any interest in the culture to be taken as cultural misappropriation or high jacking. That’s a hard one. I married a Samoan guy and their culture and traditions are very engrained, very strong, very old. As a Catholic Hispanic/palangi I just don’t relate to any of it. Although I think many of the traditions are so nice. I struggle with the lack of weddings, the lavish week long funerals, the all day church services. I think Polynesians are very welcoming but slow to warm to outsiders. I’ve only seen one white girl like myself dressed in cultural outfit, performing traditions like the rest of them. I think if you were to show interest they would welcome you. Give it a try 

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