How is Aspergers a good thing? ?

I was diagnosed with this as an adult. I now realize that this condition has held me back my entire life. It has been a factor in every interaction that I have had with another person since childhood- but with effects worsening in adulthood. Imagine constantly having people say “there is something different about John Doe” when talking to you— probably a phrase that summarizes my entire life. Ill go out with friends and inevitably their new girlfriend or someone will say “hmm something is different about  him socially”. Women seem to pick up on the social awkwardness much more readily than men;  and Id probably have had a much more active sex life if it wasnt an aspie. Also gives me poor executive functioning so that every task requiring planning  gives me immense anxiety. Became an alcoholic and benzo addict  to overcome this incredible anxiety at small tasks. I am a smart person but I feel like Asperger’s, with its social and executive functioning impairments, has caused me to not realize my full potential. I also started having the occasional seizure at 26 which has been a lot of fun. I have since learned that up to 50 percent of those on the autism spectrum experience seizures.

I get that it is part of the way my brain is wired, but I honestly see this as a disability not a difference. I dont get why the autism community has such a different viewpoint. Some seem to be literally proud of having autism or view it as some sort of superpower. 

Update:

DSM IV diagnosis (ie. Aspergers) are still accurate if the diagnosis was made at the time the DSM IV was in use. I was diagnosed with Aspergers under DSM IV- so that is the proper term

12 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Hi, sorry to hear you are finding things hard.  I can’t pretend to speak for the autistic / Aspergers community but just wanted to say that not everyone judges you negatively. Personally I enjoy meeting people who see the world differently and may be viewed as a bit different socially. I am a teacher and have taught many pupils with Aspergers, some have liked being Aspergers, some not.

    To answer your question I imagine many people with Aspergers are proud because they have found a community or friendship group that works for them and have arrived at a personal mental place where they are happy with themselves and want to embrace the things they feel make them different, regardless of society’s constraints/pressures. People with Aspergers face a lot of judgement and unfair assumptions which make it particularly hard. I hope things get better for you.

  • 2 months ago

    Unless you find a way to make a living in your "special interest" there is nothing good about being aspie ( i don't know about autism but i would imagine the same) You do not know about or have a desire to be reciprocal . And ALL NT's need that. You don't and you are concerned with yourself and not others and that is a complete turnoff for all NT's. NOT A disability ...not at all . IT IS A CHOICE FOR YOU just like it is for everyone else . You just don't have the desire to think of others like NT's do. You all know how to be very sociable ...fun ...likable ...because you wear your mask to get a NT to marry you , then you take it off . NOT HONEST NOT GOOD .  Most of you do not have a talent for anything that makes money , so you end up living with your parents forever. The ones that do make money with their talents can still hardly pay anyone to hang with them because NT's like to have fun ....and we have fun being reciprocal . so that leaves aspies out. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    First, and this is no reflection on you- the DSM-IV has been out of use since 2013. It's outdated, and some of the conditions that used to be considered mental illnesses (or neurodevelopmental disorders, as in the case of Autism) no longer are considered to be so or have been reclassified elsewhere. I hold a medical coding credential and have had some training in the use of the DSM manuals, so I know. I remember when the switch to DSM-V happened. That's when the term "Asperger's" ceased to exist in medical nomenclature.

    ALL Autism spectrum disorders are considered to be disabilities under federal and most state laws. I don't have to imagine what it's like to be labeled with the stigma of being "different", because I've been there myself. I've lived with that stigma for YEARS, even decades, and have endured a lot of abuse because of it. So I get where you're coming from- I have mild Autism too. I didn't have to turn to alcohol or benzodiazepines to help me cope, though. I hope you've gotten yourself into treatment for that. Being hooked on booze and drugs isn't going to get rid of the Autism-it'll just make you really sick. You can't medicate your way out of your disability. It's there for life, and you're stuck with it, like it or not. I can't comment on your romantic life, or the lack of it, except to say that for most people with ASD's, their romantic life is pretty non-existent. Having an ASD generally is incompatible with dating, marriage, and intimacy. People are afraid of Autism, for reasons that I can't understand, and because they're scared, they tend to pick on and hate on people who have it. That's why you've gotten picked on, James- at least part of it is, anyway.

    The reason why some people with Autism seem proud of their condition is because they have learned to deal with the immense stigma that society puts on them. At times, I sort of wish that there was an "Autistic's Lives Matter" movement, too. Because like people of color, those of us who are Autistic adults face a lot of discrimination and hatred from the rest of America, just because of a trait we were born with- and Autism IS genetic. It's not caused by vaccines, pollution, or stress in pregnancy.

    To Pearl:

    I am certainly not lacking in social ability, as you put it. And I am NOT A THREAT to anyone. I hate guns, in fact- and I've never shot a gun in my life. I don't intend to start any time in the future. The VAST MAJORITY of Autistic people are NOT violent. If people like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were or had been violent, I wouldn't even be writing on here, in fact. Both of these men have or had mild Autism, just like James does and I do. And they are FAR FROM ALONE. There are many, many successful people with mild Autism out there who lead totally normal lives by most standards. One of my relatives by marriage is an engineer who works in the space program, and he has mild Autism too.

    Of course there are exceptions when it comes to violence and Autism, just as there are exceptions for violence and mental illnesses like bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia. Perhaps you were referring to the Sandy Hook school massacre that was committed by Adam Lanza in 2014 when you made your comment about not knowing whether someone with Autism is a serial killer or a mass shooter. Lanza was known to have Autism, yes, but the Autism alone doesn't explain why he killed 20 children and 6 adults. My thinking is that he was a bullying survivor himself- and back when he was the age of the kids that he targeted, he probably went through utter HELL- but no one knew it at the time. As he got older, he likely became very bitter about the way he was treated- and somewhere along the line, he started planning to get revenge on those he felt had hurt him. Add in the fact that he became mentally ill as he grew up, and you have a recipe for disaster- which is what ultimately happened.

    I have never had any aspirations of going down that path, Pearl. Or any others like it. Yes, I want people to know what I went through growing up, because my story and others like it are extremely important. Many lessons can and should be learned from it. But my interest is in helping other people to avoid going through what I did. It's not in hurting others.

    And to "Still Standing": I DO HAVE a conscience, and I respect and listen to it. And I care deeply about other people- probably a little too much, in fact. Being able to make "small talk" is HARDLY an accurate way to gauge whether or not someone has Autism. That's just stupid.

  • 2 months ago

    No one, even in the Autism community, thinks it's a "superpower." What they ARE trying to do is educate and uplift those who have this issue. Yes--it makes social interaction very difficult, and yes, it can be considered a disability. But like all disabilities, your success in life is entirely dependent on how you handle it. Since there is no treatment for autism, especially Asperger's, you can't rely on medical science to help you aside from giving you more awareness and pointing you to resources that may be helpful--such as people who have children, or relatives, or friends who also have the issue. Most people who have Asperger's have relatively high intelligence. It's not the level of 'smart' that matters, though, in most social situations. 

    All you ever have to do is go to a Mensa meeting. You'll find that many, many people who tested with high scores on IQ tests are also socially inept or awkward (at best) and have real problems interacting with society. It's one reason they join--to meet and socialize where this isn't judged too harshly. Yet--it still causes problems. 

    I have a son with Asperger's. He can work--but has issues with his workmates and sometimes with his supervisors. He does VERY good work--but there are problems that are not easily resolved. Every Asperger's case is different. His quirks make his life harder--not easier. 

    What you can't expect is to be treated as a normal, non-affected person. You have to learn some cues that you don't recognize easily. You have to do what you can to overcome some of the problems you face. That sounds easy, but it's not--and it can be a difficult learning curve. What you want, and what you will get throughout life, are always going to be two different things. You can hope that some day you will find someone who understands and appreciates you anyway--like people who are paralyzed can or people with Down Syndrome--or any other disabled or differently-abled person. That's all any of us can do, even when we AREN'T disabled--and it applies to you and your life as well. 

    I wish you luck. 

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  • 2 months ago

    The fact that you go out with friends at all is really lucky.

    Often times, people with Asperger's don't have any friends.

    They say it's positive because they are focusing on the good things,

    rather than the negative.

    Since you cannot change having Asperger's, the best thing to do

    is enjoy what you DO have. Try and be grateful for what you do have

    in life.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I believe I was once diagnosed the same way.  I was shown a list of behaviors, and I told the psychologist "a lot fit".  I didn't think that was an incriminating statement, "normal" people I thought can behave that way too, but I think they labelled me based on that assessment.  

    I have never been financially successful, never had a long term full time employment, am still waiting for my non-essential min wage employer to open up again.  I live rent free with my boyfriend.  Probably like you, I tend to view myself as inferior to everyone else, even the local homeless.  I do have an anxious past, with plenty of OCD now.  No seizures, perhaps because of good nutrition.  Thanks for reading.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It's not a good thing or a bad thing. It's just a thing. People are born with different attributes. I'm too short to be a basketball player, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me. I'm sorry that people didn't know how to deal with and appreciate you- some people are getting better at this, but many people are still pretty ignorant. 

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I’m afraid I have Asperger too but I’m not sure. I’m writing in English because I don’t want to be recognized but It’s not my first language.

    I moved out 6 years ago and my ex roommate was studying to be a nurse. She saw me and she thought I was strange and I had the typical behaviors of psychiatric patients. So she told to the others roommates they were wrong when they decided I could live with them and she said she had a lot of work to do with me because she wanted to help me. 

    I didn’t know about her decision but I saw they looked at me like I was crazy for a year. She gave me orders and she told me what to do and she corrected me when I talked. I tried to make her happy but I couldn’t.

    After one year she thought I said something unrelated to their conversation so she told me I wasn’t normal, I needed help and she was sorry for me. I cried and she hugged me saying she was so sorry for me. I couldn’t say to her to stop touching me because she decided everything but I felt disgusted.

    I asked to other people why they think I’m strange and it’s compatible with Asperger.

    I moved out but my life is ruined because I realized other people think I’m strange and I can’t do anything. I don’t feel lucky.

  • 2 months ago

    I NEVER SAID IT WAS....ASK GOD FOR HELP DEAR..

  • 2 months ago

    It's called autism level 1(AL1). But here in Puerto Rico the dummies keep calling it Aspergers as a diagnosis.

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