Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

Fiancé is mad because I didn’t help with the wedding? ?

I’m taking a 3 plane trip to go to his place to get married. I have to pay for my parents ticket and mine, aside from the hotel, the food, just to go marry Him. I’ve been working two jobs just to save so I can go. I already went to his place once and I payed for everything. I’m a woman just FYI. We’ll he wants to marry me so we agreed to get married. It’s a civil wedding. He didn’t want to have a party I did just a small one. I mean don’t you think we deserve a small dinner party? Nothing big. He didn’t like the idea but then he said yes I guess. So now we are 1 month away. And he told me I’m not responsible because I didn’t send him money to help him in the wedding. I could barely afford my tickets and hotel. Does he not understand how expensive it is to go there?! He said “ I think I deserve everything” I’m risking my life and my moms due to the virus. He’s now complaining that I did t send him anything. I can’t believe he’s telling me all of this...I understand I need to help him with bills once we are married but it now?! He told me he would be able to pick me up on my first stop at the plane in case I go alone but now he said he won’t be able to go pick me up. That I need to learn to go on my own. Seriously? Don’t you think he should pay for the civil wedding?! He said he’s not going to maintain anyone. What would you do iN this situation? Btw I’m 27 and he’s 29 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I would question  any marriage where a partner declared that they were not willing to "maintain anyone". So what's theirs is always going to be theirs, and sharing anything (apart from sex) is off the cards? Is that what you want or expect from a marriage? 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Do yourself a huge favor and do not get married to this man! Pay attention!!! He is showing you what you have to look forward to if you do marry him. He sounds very self/ self centered! RUN!!!

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Probably write it all off. And get whatever reimbursements I could. 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You seem to change the facts from question to question.  Last I heard your mother wasn't going because she didn't approve.  Now that's changed.

    What do I think you DESERVE?  If you are as foolish as you sound, you DESERVE to marry this man.

    AND MOVE OUT OF MOMMY'S HOUSE.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You should definitely apply to be on the show 90-day fiance. If he's asking you for money to pay for a civil ceremony that costs less than $50 in most places with dinner for less than 10 people costing probably less than $500, he's a loser. Use the current COVID situation to cancel your airline tickets. Get a doctor to write a note that you're high risk or something. If you can't get a man in your own country, reevaluate staying single.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    you  are an idiot. why marry someone who cares so little for you and expects you to pay for everything just to marry him? Are you that hard up to marry someone? Tell him the wedding is off

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  • blank
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Oh my.... if any story screams "pre-marital counseling" it is yours.   IF not that - then if any story screams "pre-nuptual agreements" it is again yours.

    Marriages are supposed to be about the complete joining of two lives.  The fact that you two are already not on the same page about how to handle finances on THIS one issue - MAJOR red flags.

    You two should be looking to help each other mutually.   For him to imply you are not carrying your "half" by not contributing to expenses for a SIMPLE civil wedding (which cost NOTHING really).... AFTER you are spending all that money to get your and family to his location......  WHAT A JERK?!?

    If it were me - I'd be picking a place exactly half way between the two of you geographically and saying "Let's get married ..... (here)."    You get you and your parents there, I will get me and mine there too.   [watch how he probably says no - that is not fair.]

    If he balks - then I would say okay - Let's add up all the expenses for us to get married near you and then split the cost down the middle..... if he balks at that....  you might want to rethink getting married to this guy at all.

    If it were me - I would be postponing the wedding until some premarital counseling happens..... and the delay will help make it safer to fly AFTER the covid thing too.    Just saying.

    Hope this helps.   Good luck.  If you chose to go through with it - Contratulations!

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  • PR
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    You guys are already fighting? Did you want to get married, or just him? Marriage is a two-way street, and not just a date. Get this figured out, so you can have a good life together.

    You should probably be talking with friends or family, rather than strangers who don't even know you.

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