Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

Is this marriage over? ?

My husband is 29 and I’m 27...we’ve been together 10 years. He’s a reckless spender but we made a lot of money and have no kids so it never seemed so bad. I don’t make as much as him but I’ve always been a saver. Recently We lost EVERYTHING bc of his bad decision on a business deal that I told him not to go thru with. We are flat broke and living with our parents. It’s embarrassing but I try to stay positive but he makes it so hard. He claims to have changed (financially) since being broke but now he’s had a new job for 3 days and he’s already making dumb decisions...He won’t even tell me how much he makes bc as always “his salary is private” I saw him browsing new cars and I thought it was for us but NOPE He wants to buy his mom a car bc she took the bus although his dad has a car. I told him not to do that bc it makes no sense & he’s only doing it to spite his dad And WE don’t even have a car! He ofc got mad and I know he’s going to go thru with it. At this point I’m just sick of him. He does whatever he wants and Im just over it I can’t even look at him without being irritated bc I tried so hard for so long but I give up. Is this relationship pointless now? I’m crying now bc I can’t deal with him anymore. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Yes, this marriage is over. You married a reckless, irresponsible baby who does not care one bit about how you feel, what you say or your viewpoint. That's the sum total of this. He doesn't care. He's going to do what he wants to when he wants to. And what's this about not telling you how much he makes?  "private?" Bull. YOU'RE MARRIED. You should BOTH know exactly how much income is available--no matter who earns it. 

    Get out of this before you are ruined any further. You tried and got nowhere. Run as fast as you can to a lawyer and save yourself. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    You refuse to compromise. But if you or your spouse won't even attempt to compromise on an important issue, that's one of the clearest signs your marriage is over. Couples who want to make things work will go to great lengths to do so—even if that means one or both parties can't get what they want all the time.

    • Bulldog redux
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      You can't expect her to compromise her basic principles.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    The marriage is over.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    OK , You know I believe you know what you want to do. I agree. It has not really been a marridge to me as it should be, you each went your own way? ....but you are the saver and your both broke and living at his parents. Well we all have hard times ...BUT ...he refuses to tell you how much he makes? .......neither of you have a vehicle , but his dad does and he wants to go in hock to buy a vehicle for his mom ....this man is not married to you , im sorry. You had a wedding , and said I do , but he lied to you ....a marriage is a partnership. You need to say goodbye. 

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  • Edward
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    He is an immature man-child.   Ditch this loser. 

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    If I believe you lost everything and are living with parents, how does he plan to finance the car?

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    You're really the only one who can answer that question. Do you still have any positive feelings toward him? Has the love completely dried up? Can you envisage any way of working through it? If you look to five years in the future, do you see yourself with him?

    I mean, if I were in your position and felt the way you seemingly do, I would leave. But this choice is down to you. 

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  • There is obviously a complete lack of respect if he does not involve you or respect your opinion when it comes to financial decisions.  Not telling you his salary is ridiculous.   Insist on counselling and change or get a lawyer.  That is no way to live.

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    “Is this marriage over?”

    It would be if I were you.

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  • y
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Ten years, you stuck with him through the good but want to bail during the bad. It is as the old saying goes, winning hides the cracks, the deficiencies.

    You two need to sit and work on a budget, then stick to it. That will take care of the money thing if you both, still want to try to work it out.

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