Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Why did he choose her and not me?

I’m here for advice. Please be respectful.

So I met this guy that I was talking to from a dating app about 6 months ago. We hit it off the first time we met and planned to hangout one day the next week. When we did, we discussed how neither one of us were looking for a relationship and that we both were okay w/ fwb. Of course after like 5 months... my dumbass caught feelings. I was scared to tell him. We had talked again he said he still wasn’t ready to commit to anyone around that time. Idk what brought it up but I still never told him that I caught feelings but now I really wasn’t going to because I knew that he still wasn’t wanting a relationship.

A month later and I find out on FB that he’s got a gf all of a sudden. My heart was broken. I couldn’t understand what she had that I didn’t... I did everything for this man. I was there for him when he needed me, helped when he needed it, etc. I casually text him a day or so after I found out because we hadn’t talked. He said that he had been busy and he also has a gf now but that he would be there for me whenever I needed him and that I’m still important to him and never wants to lose me as friend. I told him that I caught feelings for him and the only thing he could say back to that was... “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you but I don’t really know what else to say...” I asked why her and not me. He said that some people just connect on different levels... 

Is it wrong for me to not accept that as an answer or am I crazy? 

5 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Basically I think that what happened is that the emotional connection between this guy and the girl he is now with was stronger than the one he shared with you. Sometimes this sort of thing can happen - where you catch feelings for someone unexpectedly. It defies all logic and can often leave you confused and feeling guilty.

    As a result of this guy unexpectedly catching feelings for someone else, I think he panicked and didn't have the courage to tell you what had happened. That is why he said he was busy, avoid talking to you etc. Therefore, I think it is logical for you to accept what he says as an explanation for his actions but not a justification. I really hope this helps:)

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  • 1 month ago

    he did not like how u look. u may let it go now - she is better looking. give it a rest

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  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    That IS an/his answer and there's no choice but to accept it. I'm sorry he doesn't feel the same as you, but not everyone will. What you do now is accept it and leave him alone. Don't hang around, reading something into everything he says and waiting for something to change.

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  • 1 month ago

    The real problem here is not the fact that he chose someone else but that you don't know yourself very well in regards to relationships. When two people of the opposite sex that are attracted to each other, even on a basic leel it is highly likely that at least one will develop strong emotional ties with the other. That is just how humans are wired. This is also why FWB rarely if ever lasts for any period of time. Focusing on the outcome of your mistake is a complete waste of time, in my opinion. Learn from this experience and don't get involved in a similar situation in the future would be your best plan of action.

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  • 1 month ago

    Maybe she had awesome breasts?

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