Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

Why do some women allow themselves to be bullied and controlled by their partners?

What issues do they have?

Does their childhood have anything to do with it?

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Fear and intimidation. The women who are afraid to stand up for themselves are stupid because they would rather be abused than left alone and single.

    • Anonymous1 month agoReport

      You're an idiot

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  • 1 month ago

    The partners are sociopaths. They pick women who have self esteem issues/low confidence (this can happen if she is raised in an abusive household, so doesn't know what 'normal' is) The sociopath lays on the charm until he can see she's hooked. Then he will 'test' her by putting her down - at first subtly, so he can attack her for misreading his attention and accuse her of picking a fight, if she challenges what he said. All this is done slowly - he has a lot of patience and enjoys the game. The times she gets sick of it and leaves, he inundates her with attention and promises of being a better person. All the while crying in an Oscar deserving performance!  She falls for it and he gets more devious in his tactics and new games. If they have children, it's known that he will even 'program' the children to see HIM as a victim who puts up with so much from her! Having the children makes it harder for her to leave as well - not wanting to deny them their father/ usually for financial reasons. Mine beat me up four times - he wasn't even angry about anything, he just wanted to. The fifth time was his mistake because I had drunk a bottle of sherry and went off my head throwing furniture at him! (The kids were in bed) A chair hit him on the knee and he backed off. I followed him and kept kicking him in the knee asking him if he felt like a big man abusing a woman who had been abused all her life. The next day his knee was so swollen he could barely walk. He never hit me again - which showed what a coward he was and was only 'tough' when he thought no one would hit him back! Of course, the beatings stopped, but his mind games and public humiliations got worse. I finally left after 23 years of mind games and abuse. He tried his best that time when he kept ringing telling me he was going to self harm if I didn't return. I called his employer and told them he was threatening self harm. They kicked in to 'protect' him - even with one of his mates moving in with him for a few weeks! He never called me again. I LOVE people who want to judge the woman with no understanding of what she's living with - and nearly NEVER step in to defend her! To the men out there so clever abusing their wives - just how stupid are you with your arrogance? You're abusing the woman who prepares your meals~! Do you sleep with both eyes shut??  

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  • 1 month ago

    Please turn away from your sin because Jesus is coming very soon to take his children with him to Heaven. You do not want be on the earth after that time.

    35 “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. 36 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? 37 Is anything worth more than your soul? 38 If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”

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  • 1 month ago

    Because they love them and hope the situation will change so they stay no matter how bad it is

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Cause they like that sh*t

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I am a boy and I have a sister 6 years older than me. While growing up she was a big bully and I don't have a place to hide or escape from her because my parents don't believe me.

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  • 1 month ago

    Low self worth has a lot to do with it.

    I can't do better.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    There are lots of elements that influence a person’s decision to stay in an abusive relationship. And while seeking help to get out of these relationships is the most important thing, blaming someone in an abusive relationship is never okay. There is a big difference between judgment and responsibility. While someone might have used bad judgment by staying in an unhealthy or dangerous situation, it does not mean that they are responsible, or asking, for the abuse perpetrated against them.

    Distorted Thoughts. 

    Being controlled and hurt is traumatizing, and this leads to confusion, doubts, and even self-blame. Perpetrators harass and accuse the victims, they wear them down and cause despair and guilt. Many women believe they deserve it, they feel embarrassed, ashamed, and they blame themselves, while others minimize abuse as a way to cope with it, because many of them don’t know that emotional and financial abuse is really abuse because words don’t leave bruises, and they don’t  know that what was done to them was rape.

    Damaged Self-Worth. 

    Related was the damage to the self that is the result of degrading treatment. Many women felt beaten down and of no value, saying: “He made me believe I was worthless and alone,” and, “I felt I had done something wrong and I deserved it.”

    Fear. 

    The threat of bodily and emotional harm is powerful, and abusers use this to control and keep women trapped. Female victims of violence are much more likely than male victims to be terrorized and traumatized. One said: “I was afraid of him...I knew he’d make leaving a drawn out nightmare.” Attempting to leave an abuser is dangerous. One woman felt trapped because of her husband’s “threats of hunting her down and harming all her loved ones including their kids while she watched before killing her.” 

    Fear of how others will react.

    People in abusive relationships often feel embarrassed to admit that their partner is abusive for fear of being judged, blamed, marginalized, pitied or looked down on. 

    They share a life together.

    Marriage, children, and shared finances are often huge reasons that people in abusive relationships stay in them. This dependency is heightened in relationships where one partner is differently abled. But there are also similar factors that affect young people’s decisions to stay in relationships, including shared friend groups and living situations.

    Financial Constraints. 

    Many people referred to financial limitations, and these were often connected to caring for children: “I had no family, two young children, no money, and guilt because he had brain damage from a car accident.” Others were unable to keep jobs because of the abuser’s control or their injuries, and others were used financially by their abuser: “My ex racked up thousands of debt in my name.”

    Isolation. 

    A common tactic of manipulative partners is to separate their victim from family and friends. Sometimes this is physical, as one woman experienced: Isolation is emotional, as one woman was told: “You can either have friends and family or you can have me.”

    Children. 

    These women also put their children first, sacrificing their own safety: “I was afraid if he wasn’t beating me he would beat his kids, and I valued their lives more than my own,” “I stayed for 20 years while I protected our children, all while I was being abused.” Others mentioned staying to benefit the children. 

    Society normalizes unhealthy behavior so people may not understand that their relationship is abusive.

    When you think that unhealthy or abusive behaviors are normal, it’s hard to identify your relationship as abusive and therefore there’s no reason to seek help.

    Emotional abuse destroys your self-esteem, making it feel impossible to start fresh.

    Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships may not understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Also, many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse. It’s hard for those in abusive relationships to leave their partners after they’ve continuously been made to feel worthless and like there’s no better option for themselves.

    The Cycle of Abuse: after every abusive incident comes a make-up honeymoon phase.

    Often when an abusive situation happens, it is followed by the abuser doing something nice or apologizing and promising that they will never do it again. This makes their partner minimize the original abusive behavior.

     

    It’s dangerous to leave. Like, VERY dangerous.

    Many times, leaving an abusive relationship is not only emotionally difficult, but can also be life-threatening. In fact, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is post break-up. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time during the relationship.

    Emotional abuse destroys your self-esteem, making it feel impossible to start fresh.

    Oftentimes, people in emotionally abusive relationships may not understand that they are being abused because there’s no violence involved. Also, many will dismiss or downplay emotional abuse because they don’t think it’s as bad as physical abuse. It’s hard for those in abusive relationships to leave their partners after they’ve continuously been made to feel worthless and like there’s no better option for themselves.

    The Cycle of Abuse: after every abusive incident comes a make-up honeymoon phase.

    Often when an abusive situation happens, it is followed by the abuser doing something nice or apologizing and promising that they will never do it again. This makes their partner minimize the original abusive behavior.

    It’s dangerous to leave. Like, VERY dangerous.

    Many times, leaving an abusive relationship is not only emotionally difficult, but can also be life-threatening. In fact, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is post break-up. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time during the relationship.

    It’s not just hard to breakup safely, it’s also hard to escape the cycle of control.

    People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the break up sticks. On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good. People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the break up sticks. On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good.

    Society perpetuates a ride-or-die mindset.

    Those in unhealthy or abusive relationships might stay with their partner or get back together after a break up because they feel pressure to not give up, forgive and forget or “ride it out.” Pop culture glamorizes being a “ride-or-die” for your friends and partner, making people out to be in the wrong for leaving their partner. And while being loyal is a great thing, a good friend or partner would never endanger or hurt you.

    They feel personally responsible for their partner or their behavior.

    After a conflict, an abuser will turn the situation around and make their partner feel guilty or as though they are somehow at fault. This type of behavior is known as gaslighting.

    They believe that if they stick it out, things might change.

    A lot of people in abusive relationships stay in them because they love their partner and think that things will change. They might also believe their partner’s behavior is due to tough times or feel as though they can change their partner if they are a better partner themselves. Never stay in a relationship in which you count on someone to change their behavior for the better.

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  • 1 month ago

    low self esteem stemming from any sort of trauma or mental illness. not receiving the right amount of love as a child could have a part in this in many cases

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Google steals your info. They phish. They are the biggest phishing company worldwide. Please be careful. Also Ep stein was killed. 

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  • God
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Some women don't have a job and feel their partner is in total control.

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