Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

Should I have to wear them?

My good friend is getting married and I am flattered that she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Here is my problem. I am very short... 5 foot, even on a good day! The bride to be has picked out beautiful dresses and beautiful shoes. She wants all the bridesmaids to be about the same height. The shoes for the gals have a 2 to 3 inch heel on them, depending on their height. For me to be in the ballpark near the other girls I have to wear a 6 inch heel with a 1 inch platform in front! I just think that's asking too much and have told her I'd be happy to even do a pair of 4 inchers but not 6! She said it's only for one day and would make her happy if I would put up with it for a few hours. Is this typical for a person in a wedding to have to wear something that's out of their comfort level? How should I handle this? 

Update:

She may in fact be a Bridezilla, but I love her to death! 

Update 2:

Thank you Trish, I am going to give it a try! I've ordered a similar pair of 6 inch heels with a 1 inch platform (so really a 5 inch heel) and for the next couple of months I'm going to wear them all over the place and see how I make out in them! What have I got to lose. I'll keep you posted!

Update 3:

I really don't think will demand anything else. Yes, she was probably over-reaching asking me to wear 6 inch stiletto heels. The heels arrived today and I'm wearing them around the house. They aren't that uncomfortable. I'm going to try and do 6 hours in them. Things look different being so high!!!

Update 4:

Thank you Dr. Stephanie. I do appreciate your advice. But I bought a nearly identical pair of shoes I'll be wearing at the wedding and I'm really giving them a try. I wore them for 6 hours yesterday around the house and it wasn't to bad. I am going grocery shopping today and going to wear them. Fingers crossed.

Update 5:

I've worn the 6 inch heels all day for the 2nd day in a row. They really aren't that difficult to walk in (or should I say teeter-tooter in). My feet felt fine but my calves and lower back are stiff. Will try again tomorrow!

Update 6:

Five days in a row with 6 inch heels all day! Not too bad overall. They are manageable. I'm going to do it! Thanks to Trish!

Update 7:

Thanks for your concern Chris. I know they'll cause problems for me and I could injure myself. I have to say the guys seem to like them. Getting a lot of comments daily!

17 Answers

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Platforms are not that bad.  I don't see why you can't wear the shoes an hour or two then change into whatever you like for the reception.  I think you should give it a try.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Chris4 weeks agoReport

      You are crazy wearing 6 inch heels daily. They will ruin your feet, legs and back and you may break an ankle!

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  • GB
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

     Your friend is ridiculous. Maybe she thinks the photos would look better if all the bridesmaids are the same height. I hope she pays your medical bills if you get injured and also pays for the shoes.

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  • 1 month ago

    That's idiotic. It really is, people who aren't used to heels ought not be wearing anything over 2 1/2 to 3" heels.   She could accomplish the same thing by having the tall women wear flats, couldn't she?

    It's really an unreasonable request. The result will very likely NOT be a scene of uniformity but a video worthy of AFV some Sunday night. 

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  • 1 month ago

    She’s crazy. Run like a rabbit. On your flat feet.

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  • 1 month ago

    I would simply tell her the truth:  That her request is, in fact, unreasonable because the shoes would be unsafe for you to walk in. If you have small feet, you can't even wear a 4 inch heal let alone six because your foot isn't long enough.  Because of this, you will simply have to back out of being in the bridal party but will be there as a guest.

    One of three things will happen:

    1.  She will see that her request is foolish and as the other girls to wear flats or let you all be however tall you are.

    2. She will gracefully accept this because who her pictures look is more important than actually having you int he wedding but she still loves you.

    3. She'll end the friendship because you were never really important to her in the first place. 

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    How to handle it.  Say no. No, sorry I won’t be doing that. I love you to bits. I know you love me too and would never force or guilt me into wearing something I don’t want to wear. 

    Or just ignore her and on the day of the wedding have on heels you feel comfortable wearing. 

    That she is trying to change how you look, is not being a friend. 

    It is also putting you in danger.  Wearing 6” heels is tricky for any women, let alone someone who isn’t use to it.  Sorry but chances are you will look like an idiot trying to walk in 6” heels. 

    And as soon as photos are done with you will take them off and your dress will be dragging six inches on the ground.

    No it is not typical to force a bride aid to wear something out of their comfort zone.  

    So if a dress is too low cut for you, or the heels too high, or you don’t want to spend money on professional make up and hair, YOU say no thanks. Sorry I won’t be doing that, wearing that.

    Sorry but I will be wearing 3” heels.  If you rather I not be a bridesmaid because of my height, please let me know. I would still love to be a guest and celebrate your special day with you. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    she wants all the bridesmaids to be the same height? what a picky ocd b*tch... don't even bother. your comfort or nothing...

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  • 1 month ago

    I have never in my life seen someone say about a bridezilla that they "love her to death".  You may not know what that term means.  On the rest, I agree with the others.  She is immature, selfish and needs to get over herself. 

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I would tell her you can only wear the 4 inch heels  max.  If she can't accept that then you will have to decline being in the wedding party.  If she wanted everyone to be about the same height she should never have asked you to be in it.

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  • Rick
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's way too much to ask anyone to do.  They'll be uncomfortable for you and a few hours in them is too painful.  I've never heard of anyone wanting the bridesmaids to be the same height.  She'll have to accept that you can't do this.

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