Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social ScienceGender & Women's Studies · 4 weeks ago

I've heard that men often won't stick around if they don't get sex by the third date. Is this true?

I've had few experiences with sex and it has been painful for me each time, and I just don't/can't enjoy it. I've avoided dating for a while because of this. So I'm looking for a man's perspective and wondering if this is actually true? I'm in my mid twenties now. If this is what the dating world has actually turned into, I unfortunately might have to give it up for good as I just can't enjoy sex like other women can.

Update:

That's incredible! I wish more relationships were based on a more pure/friendship type of love, but I can't help but admit that messages I get from the media seem to be telling us to have sex all the time, and that also makes me fearful from starting a relationship of any kind. 

25 Answers

Relevance
  • Dr. D
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    It is the women's prerogative to decide when sex is appropriate. If you don't want to have sex on the 3rd, 4th, 5th....... etc. date, then that's okay. If the guy is pressuring you to have sex, then you are better off without him. There are plenty of nice guys out there who will share your values. 

    If you find sex painful then its probably because your body is not releasing sufficient lubrication. This is a very common problem, and easily remedied. Just purchase some KY Jelly from a pharmacy and use a dab on your organ. You will find sex to be pain free and much more enjoyable. https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/vagi...

    • Shark
      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      for me it's the first date

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    Well, sex is supposed to be saved for marriage...

    if a person sees nothing wrong with premarital sex... what difference does it make if he or she fornicates during the third of 10th date?

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    Nah, I can hang around longer

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    Men differ from each other, so there are many men out there who will either be patient or not pressurised by societal expectations who will be fine for you.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    you ask a number specific question ,, when the fact is you do not want a mate but a friend and a mask 

    fact yes many normal people (men and women) see third date as sex date - need to make sure you are even close to compatible in 1st and 2nd date -- the sex is to be sure you are sexually comfortable before you invest more time with each others... many divorces could be avoided if sex trials were more specific 

    yes there are people dating just for sex both men and women -- this is not relevant to the point  you'er asking 

    SINCE you do not enjoy sex , you should not date... a doctor could help but most of this is in your mind set and not correctable medically - 

     UNLESS you decided to fix it like person with a phobia you have to admit it first 

    most men want a healthy vibrant love life  this means sex ,, not a buddy to hang with .. you should be honest and not date and lead some polite fool who thinks after marriage you will be a healthy lover. 

    Ask your self , why not find a women equal in lack of desire for sex and be lifetime roommates and travel buddy's? 

    the one reason is social pressure to marry have children

    well if you do this means you will be divorced and it will be your fault

    like all of us with physical limits we should not hold back other people to make you feel better.... ME I am crippled and cannot walk much ,, so my wife of 32 years had to give up travel to places taking lots of walking ....  We discussed this in length before marriage ..it is all good,,, 

    if you go to a doctor to correct this; it must be a sex therapy doctor .... start masturbation is the most important part of you getting healthy in this areas

    not what you want to hear? ,,, I understand the truth is harsh often in life better deal with it now than later 

    asking lots of people until you hear what you want does not make it ok 

    • ...Show all comments
    • Lv 4
      4 weeks agoReport

      .. and, 'Time' is an irreplaceable cost, and also theres 'Opportunity Cost'(of sharing time with alternative persons/activities re possible benefit), and also for the Asker: perhaps try be clearer with potential mates, as in Askers very clear, nice, and honest question: & so find someone nice

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Not true at all. 

    You will know when a man won't stick around if he is pestering you to sleep with him

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    I just met someone a few days ago and she doesn't want sex until she feels better because she is going through something and I dont care. I have already gotten laid plenty of times in my life so I am not desperate about getting laid

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    It may the case for most men using dating sites.  However, if you meet men face to face, out with friends, at work functions, on holiday or elsewhere, it maybe that you become friends first and then if your both attracted to each other your fine to let nature takes it's course and you can both dictate how slow or how fast your relationship progresses.

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • Zirp
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Depends on the guy, and on where you met.

    there are dating-sites where you can find a prostitute, and there are other dating-sites for people who don't take intercourse for granted.

    Sounds to me like you need one of the latter kind, and maybe you need to consult your doctor to see if there's something wrong with your nether-regions

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
  • 4 weeks ago

    usually sex happens on the first second or third date or else it doesnt happen

    • Commenter avatarLogin to reply the answers
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.