Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 1 month ago

I want to keep my baby?

The father and I are not together. He wants me to abort our baby(5weeks). I want our child. I told him he's free of responsibility,I don't need him. He refuses to let me keep it,because it's his blood and he doesn't want it . If I ignore him and have it, he's gonna take it from me. He said he'll get me fired from my job,make my life hell,and take the kid. He's better off money and home wise than me. He'll win custody easily, while I'll be homeless without my job. I want our child,what do I do? 

Update:

We are ex boyfriend and girlfriend. He's 24 and I'm 26.

Update 2:

I begged him while crying and he said no. I'm not with him,he's moving back home.but will check to make sure I got rid of our kid. I don't understand. He doesn't want me or our kid,so why can't I keep it? I already told him he's free,I won't go after him for money. He won't give me a straight answer why,just no I can't keep our kid. He's going to get money for an abortion. He can get me fired from work and, I can't find work easily. I'm in a grey area where I just barely make too much for help.

Update 3:

Maybe I should just do it and get rid our kid.  I gave him every option,stay or don't in the kid life. I wouldn't keep him from it. My first kid is gonna be gone. The only support I have is my ill mom,she said she help. My income and hers isn't enough for a place and a kid. I'd lose my job, home and insurance before a lawyer can do anything. I can't even afford one,Im poor but make enough to not qualify for free help. I got so many bills already.

10 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    If you're in the US, go to www.benefits.gov and see what you qualify for. You can also press 211 on your phone and be connected to local resources.

    That said, why do you want to be connected to this jerk forever through a child? And why would you want to struggle for years living in poverty? If you have an abortion, you can find a wonderful man who will be a father to your future children. You can wait until you're financially stable to have a child. Your future children will be better off if you wait. An abortion is sad, but it's not a tragedy. Right now, it would be like having a heavy period with cramping.

    You can do whatever you want. After this, maybe get therapy to see why you thought this guy was a good idea.

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you want to keep the child, then legally you can do so; and your boyfriend can do nothing about it. Your boyfriend can NOT take the child away from you and he can't get you fired from your job or make your life a living hell. 

     He's not your husband; he's only your boyfriend. You're a single woman. In order for him to gain custody of the child, he would have to prove, in a court of law, that you're an unfit mother. Your financial status is immaterial to the Court. 

    According to the law, a single woman is presumed to have total and complete custody of her child from the moment the child is born, and a single woman has total and complete control over all aspects of her child's life. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If you really want the kid then keep the child. your ex has NO RIGHT to force you into abortion. Also there's no guarantee that he'll win custody rights to begin with. especially with the threats he give. (make sure you have prove of those threats, it'll help you with custody rights.)

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Put the baby up for adoption😉

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  • 1 month ago

    leave him, move somewhere where he cannot find you and get another job. Get a lawyer, free neighborhood lawyers may be available in your area and get legal advice.

    • NY_Nightowl
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      This is the best advice possible.  He cannot FORCE you to do anything.  You are the mother.  He sounds like a real piece of **** btw.

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  • 1 month ago

    There are people that will help support you if you reach out to them.  You are not dependent on him for anything if you seek the right support.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    He can't make you have an abortion.  

     

    < He'll win custody easily >

     

    No he won't.  Do you have proof of his threats like copies of texts?

    • Mommy C.1 month agoReport

      I agree.  There is no way the court system would grant him custody.

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  • 1 month ago

    The way you speak of this male (I won’t call him a man) you make it sounds like he owns you, like you’re a slave.  What’s really going in here?  You should notify the police if this mantle is threatening you. 

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    "He refuses to let me keep it"

    LOLZ, what makes him think he gets a say?

    "If I ignore him and have it, he's gonna take it from me."

    No, he won't. He doesn't really want that kind of responsibility. Few fathers who use the threat of trying to get custody as a weapon actually want it, and fewer will even attempt to pursue it. This is just a bullying tactic on his part.

    "He said he'll get me fired from my job,make my life hell,and take the kid. "

    I hope you have written or recorded evidence that he said that, because these kind of threats constitute harassment. Please start documenting every single thing like this he says or does to you, because it will come in useful if you have to file a restraining order against him.

    "He's better off money and home wise than me. He'll win custody easily, while I'll be homeless without my job."

    Judges look at far more of the situation than just who has more money. If money was all a judge cared about, mothers would seldom receive primary custody... and yet they do, the VAST majority of the time. Generally speaking, a court will not take a child away from his/her mother unless the mother can be proven unfit. Financial difficulties by themselves aren't enough to meet that criteria.

    Look, your ex-bf is just bullying you. He is scaring you to try to control you and coerce you into doing what he wants. Don't fall for it. Think about it... he's trying everything in his power to get to you end the pregnancy, because he doesn't want a child. So knowing that, why the eff would he suddenly change his mind and try to get custody for a child he doesn't think should even exist? That is a complete contradiction, and precisely why you cannot let yourself believe his lies. 

    Please find a family law attorney ASAP. Some will work pro bono or on a sliding scale, or at the very least will tell you what public resources you can connect with to start finding housing and food/healthcare/employment aid. Also *please* reach out to any family and friends who could be supportive. You might believe you have no one (because your ex has made you think you don't), but you do. You're not alone. The first step toward getting the help you need is to simply reach out and ask.

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  • 1 month ago

    You don't need him and it is your life and you can decide what to do but do you really want to be a single parent struggling on benefits with an annoying ex trying to get custody and arguing with child support to get 33% of his salary for the next 18 years? Good Luck

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