Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 5 months ago

Dangers of being too fussy in dating?

I can get women interest easily, even online as I take after my dad who was a good looking man,he had 3 divorces behind him and many failed relationships and I think i'm like him.I am 30 year old male, I can get a date easily and lots of attenion online but when it comes to an actual relationship I am initially all excited and she is the one,then I dunno I see a faw or decide she isn't compatible with me, we won't agree on something or have different ideas, so i end it. I have also been cheated on a couple of times, even though that girl called me hot when we first met and wanted to date me! What are the dangers of not being able to hold down a relationship or finishing with women. My relationships have rarely lasted 1 year, usually around 6 months then i'm back looking for someone else...what are the dangers of this? Could I end u alone? I do want a family and kids but how do I setttle when there are so many options these days? 

Update:

even family and friends have kinda rolles their eyes now and said , what;s wrong with that girl then, when i last broke up, this was 2 weeks ago so they are noticing this pattern, my best mate said i'll run out of time and end up alone, but women look at me in the store and street so i get noticed, could i end up alone even tho i attract women?

2 Answers

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    I think you are entering into "a relationship" too readily. Of course a new romantic interest is wonderfully exciting and all the novelty of getting to know someone is thrilling. And of course that "shiny brand new" feeling wears off in time. 

    Can you possibly just date a lady a few times a month avoid this pattern of "too much too fast then over too soon" flings? Can you resist your "this time is different; this is the big romance of my life!" over-enthusiasm and adopt of more mature, more realistic "I like her a lot, but it takes time to get to know someone one well" attitude and thus avoid setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment? 

    Can you manage to pace yourself? To not see your new love interest more than once a week? To limit time together to a shared meal and a walk in the park instead of spending entire days together? To keep between-date contact down to one SHORT mid-week call to arrange next weekend's date, resist the urge to yap on and on with her and save that for the date? 

    Never forget "This isn't my girlfriend, this is my DATE. This isn't a relationship, this is enjoying each other's company for a few hours." If necessary, gently remind the lady to slow down. "Let's not get too serious too fast; I'm your date, not your boyfriend."

    Yes, that means that women who, like you, are intent on "too much too soon" fling will get bored with you and lose interest. But that's better than later being cheated on, yes? Better than later having a broken heart, yes? 

    Think about building a fire. Do you want a big blazing bonfire that's all over in a few hours? Or do you want something that lasts a long time? If you want the fire to last, then you have to put wood on the fire little by little, not throw on a big pile all at once. You can't run a marathon the same way you run a 100 yard dash!

    And yes, men and women who are constantly either madly in love with someone new or singing the blues about yet another affair ending are damn likely to end up alone. Fall in love in a hurry and fall right back out of love in a hurry.

  • Anonymous
    5 months ago

    end up alone please it's the smart option

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