Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

How do casual relationships usually end? ?

Do people just grow distant and start ghosting or do you have the talk? 

What has been your experience?

I think I’m going through it but I’m not exactly sure what is going on between me and the guy in question. We had the talk. It seems he is not on the same page ..I’m not bothered to ask him or try making any efforts anymore

Just wondering what might be going through his head as when I do write to him he is kind. But he also showed signs of interest at the start when I expressed my feelings but he keeps giving me mixed signals so know I don’t know. But I’m just leaving it to him to make a move next 

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  • Kaylee
    Lv 6
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    So here’s the problem: You already settled for a causal relationship with him so chances of him wanting to change that is slim. Expectations change once you put a title on something and he probably isn’t ready for that. The moment you found out you weren’t on the same page, you should’ve ghosted. He will never be on the same page as you and that’s something you should’ve discussed before sleeping with him. 

     Casual relationships become distant because it’s always one person in the casual relationship that holds it together by hoping there will be something there and then they end up distancing because they find someone else that fills their needs. He might also end up becoming distant because he knows your intentions and isn’t into it and feels like he got out of you what he wanted. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Your plan to let him make the next move is a good one. If he's a strong guy, who's interested, he'll take the initiative and ask you out.

    May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), displays a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling people who are pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), gives their best effort, and demonstrates self-control (of their body, anger, mouth and money).

    My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you’re setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    PS Here are "21 tips that could help you to attract a strong person" from the book True Love Lasts:

    1. Take the time and put in the effort to become a strong person yourself (this is the most important tip)

    2. Put yourself in as many situations as possible that will allow you to potentially come in contact with other strong people - community service organizations, the library, high school or college clubs, the “Y” or other workout facilities, religious book studies, coffee shops, non-alcoholic parties, bookstores, concerts (wear a good pair of earplugs to protect your ears from permanent hearing loss), co-ed recreational athletic teams, community service projects, mission trips, volunteer service, etc. Try to get to know other people as much as possible without dating

    3. Be cheerful, approachable, and friendly - smile regularly to put others at ease (let people see your positive attitude)

    4. Take a real interest in getting to know others. Ask people an open-ended question about themselves in order to get them talking. Share things related to what’s been said as needed to keep the conversation going. Then ask them another question

    5. Be polite and kind to everyone - even to people who you don’t like or enjoy being around

    6. If you decide to not accept a request for a date, do it in a kind way (being rude isn’t a good choice and it doesn’t help you - word about it will get out and you’ll become less approachable)

    7. Be confident about yourself - if you’re trying to become a stronger person each day, you already have a lot going for you

    8. Be humble - don’t act like you’re Miss Charming or you’re Mr. Wonderful

    9. Don’t be concerned about whether or not someone likes you

    10. Have the attitude that if someone doesn’t like you - they don’t really know you

    11. Take care of yourself by getting enough sleep (at least nine hours for teens, at least seven hours for adults according to the experts), exercising regularly (if approved by your doctor), and eating a healthy diet

    12. Develop a good sense of humor - including the ability to laugh at your own mistakes

    13. Be known as a hard worker

    14. Dress well and dress modestly at the same time (wearing seductive clothing doesn’t attract another strong person)

    15. Pay attention to your appearance, but don’t obsess over it (remember that strong people are attracted to other strong people, they’re not too concerned about looks - because they realize that looks fade with age). If you use makeup, make sure it’s not excessive. Use perfumes and colognes sparingly - if at all

    16. Truly care about other people

    17. Stay in close communication with real friends who can help you through the ups and downs of life and hold you accountable

    18. Be patient - real friends can help you with this

    19. Persevere - please remember that almost nothing worthwhile is quick and easy. Please don’t settle for dating a weak person

    20. Don’t take it personally if someone doesn’t want to date you

    21. Don’t act desperate for a date

    Source(s): True Love Lasts - written with a character emphasis for teens through young adults, Straight Talk About Teen Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 13-19, Straight Talk About Dating - written with a Christian emphasis for ages 20 and up
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  • 1 month ago

    A true casual relationship never really ends.  Casual = friends with benefits.  You don't need to "end" a friends relationship because you're free to make new friends any time.  It's not like a boyfriend or girlfriend where you have to end one relationship before you start another one.

    A casual relationship will only end after many years of not talking to each other, when you stop being friends and you're basically strangers again.  Same as any other friendship - a 40 year old wouldn't consider someone they haven't seen since high school as a friend any longer, most likely.  But even then there is a chance to reconnect.

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  • 1 month ago

    Good idea.  I suspect you declared your undying love FAR too early in this 'relationship' (not a close one as you don't yet know how he thinks) and he's backed off in fear you are going to become clingy.  You should both just be enjoying each other's company.  If it's an online thing and you don't get to meet face to face, you are never going to become a couple are you.  Yes, leave him to make the next move.

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  • kristy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Just say: hey it’s not working out. Take care.

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  • Mike
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Rather quickly.   

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  • 1 month ago

    It depends on the dynamic within the relationship. With some, it’s a mutual understanding, and each drift off, others require the talk. In time, some lick their wounds and return as friends. 

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