Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 months ago

I love my wife but I hit her?

This morning , we got into an argument and I lost it , I hit her and called her names. This is the first time , something like this has happened and I feel disgusted with myself , she hasn't spoken to me and doesn't want to be near me

, If I could undo it ,I would but what should I do now, I love my wife , i just got mad

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  • 4 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You didn't ask a question, but here's my answer anyway: it is NEVER, EVER okay to hit a woman in anger, period.  I agree that you should get into some anger management counseling, even if its on line due to covid crisis. Your continued present and future behavior , without hitting or calling names will be your task, for as long as it may take for your wife to forgive you and longer to rebuild the broken trust in your marriage. You just got mad, you say, okay, whatever the reason, its still not okay to do what you did.  You may be lucky if she doesn't divorce, so good luck. 

  • 4 months ago

    Maybe you should SD (so she feels protected from any more hits), say sorry and apologize, and explain why you did it.  Keep your voice subdued and apologetic.

  • ron h
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Everyone here wants to hang you, but I don't yet.  I think that you're trying to figure out how this happened. You're beside yourself because you've never imagined hitting a woman. On the positive side, in the morning both of you were likely sober.  (drink and drugs have killed many a marriage)  And from your wording it was a single slap, hopefully not a punch and not a beating.  So, for now, I want to believe that you're a good man who's ashamed.  I'm not ready yet to call you a wife beater. But if you hit her because the dog was barking or she spilled your coffee, it's time to go because neither of you should live like that.

    .

    So now you've got to figure out how this happened.  Did she say or do something that made you insane?  If she did, she has to understand that she can never do that again because if she does, you won't hit her, but you will leave the marriage.  Because you NEVER want to be that angry again.  There was something different about today's argument and you HAVE to figure it out and never go to that place again.  Years ago my wife and I were yelling at each other and she put her hand over my mouth.  I knocked her arm away and she was shocked, seeing that as me hitting her.  It took a while for her to see that I felt assaulted. and I had not attacked her. We've never touched each other since that. I'm not sure if I told her at the time, but I would not / will not live with hitting or being hit.  I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THAT.

    .

    If it was all on you, you have to figure out NOW how you'll NEVER let yourself get that angry again.  Because if you do, she should leave you.  Beg, grovel, a few sincere tears would be OK.  if you need some anger management, do that.  Your workplace insurance MIGHT cover some of that cost.

  • 4 months ago

    How can you solve this issue you have?  Give her space, buy her flowers and a card, write and tell her how you feel about your bad behavior. Don't mention anything about what she said that you didn't like.   That you can discuss when things get better.

    Kiss her when she's sleeping, tell her that you love her... she'll know.

    Most importantly, you DON'T repeat that unpleasant behavior. You can't undo what you have done but ONLY YOU can avoid doing it again. Good luck!

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  • 4 months ago

    I don't think anyone getting mad is a good reason to put their hands on anyone man or woman and i think you need help and honestly if you loved her you wouldn't have put your hands on her. She's right for not wanting to be near you you saying "i just got mad" everyone gets mad that's not an excuse and verbal abuse on top of physical is definitely insult to injury. As a woman who has been abused in the past i really don't have any sympathy for you.

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    My missus does it to me all time apparently it’s kinky 🤔, seriously though you should never hit anyone you need to seriously kiss some backside and apologise, youl be lucky if she ever forgives you, be thankful you’ve not got the police at your door,

  • hart
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    you don't love her you use her as a tool

  • 4 months ago

    LMAO. LOVE IT. Hit a woman then talk about 'regret/remorse'. Yeah sure. I'm positive your mates in the pub will fall for it - no one else will! You're a low life coward that's actually expecting someone to come up with a reason to justify you being a low life coward! If there really is a God - you won't have any children with her and she'll leave your pathetic ***!!

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    Someone who loves you doesn't hit you.  Your wife can and should do better than you.

  • 4 months ago

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Find a men's anger management class and sign up to attend. Then tell your wife your plans. 

    TODAY.

    Flowers and chocolates are worthless at this point. 

  • 4 months ago

    You need anger management. What made you so upset? It may take a lot for her to love you or trust you after this. She will be broken and it sounds like you have your own issues to work out. Suggest counselling, but you also have to be understanding if she is not interested in any of that right now. The road ahead will be rough and complicated, but you should fight for your marriage. I wish you all the best!

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