Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

Engagement Advise?

Me and my boyfriend has been together for about a year and A half now September will make 2! We plan on getting married next year and his parents are very excited and happy but when I brung it up to my mom she wasn’t so happy. She tells me just because you two have A baby together doesn’t mean we have to get married. I’m currently 8 months pregnant and due in July with both of Ours first kid. Before I even ended up getting pregnant Marriage has been something we talked about and both knew we wanted. We’re in love and I can’t imagine my life with out him. And we want to share our love with the Lord the right way. Me and my Fiancé does have arguments But it’s nothing violent or that will last for days or weeks. We argue and after a couple hours of cooling down we’re back to normal after communicating. We’re both above age. And I’m only asking for advice because I love my Mom and I just think she doesn’t want me to get married because she isn’t married yet? I don’t know We’re Ready, We are already planning on getting our first place together in September late October. 

Update:

I’m 23 he’s 25

11 Answers

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you are sure about truly loving him, then get. married. It is your life and if its a mistake you can move on from that too.

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your use of the word 'advise' is incorrect. The correct word is 'advice' not ;advise'. Advice is a noun; advise is a verb. 

    You offer someone a suggestion or your 'advice' on a subject. Someone 'advises' you about what they think you should do if a difficult situation..

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This isn't your mother's life.  You can listen to what she has to say but ultimately the decision is yours.  If you Love each other and know you want to spend your lives together I would go for marriage 🙂.  Good Luck with your decision and congratulations on the birth of your first child.  I hope you three are happy together whatever you decide.

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  • 1 month ago

    Hi,

    I understand how you feek, but it happens. When you're in a relationship and you both love each other, it's unlikely not to come together as one when you're engaged. 

    However, the question is how do you protect that status? Whether you're engaged, dating or just friends.

    I'm not going to say your union will not work because it will if you do that which is right. I know you really want to be with your fiance, but if you go wrong with keeping that status strong, it could fail even before the union works.

    What you need to do now is protect that status, whether you're pregnant or not. 

    If you need detailed help on how to go about protecting your engagement status, this articlehttps://www.ejiblog.com/laws-of-divine-presence-in... could help.

    Hope this is helpful. Thanks.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    lmao! oh child, you have so much more to learn and grown... barely together 2 years, young as fck... no. just no... OMG AND you have a baby already? christ.... look at you. no wonder your mom isn't excited. 

  • 1 month ago

    I'm not sure what your mother is thinking. My guess is that she thinks you two are too immature.  You should ask her if you care.  Otherwise, move forward. Your responsibility now is to the child you are about to have. 

    I would strong encourage you and your boyfriend to go through some pre-marital counseling.  It is really important that you two develop tools to deal with disagreements and learn how to discuss things calmly and make appropriate compromises.  You two also need to work through your goals and values.  Getting officially engage is neither here nor there.  Getting engaged is merely the two of your agreeing that you are ready to get married and are going to actively plan that wedding.  

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  • 1 month ago

    Your mother has some strange idea that it's ok to try to run your life and monitor what you do. She's interfering and sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong.

    Both my sons are married. One married a girl i wasn't too thrilled about but i kept my mouth shut. Why? Because they love each other and my son's marriage and choice of wife is none of my business.

    they have been married for fifteen years now, and it turns out he picked the right girl. She's really great after all.

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  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Marriage isn't about "Being in love." Just because you love somebody doesn't mean the somebody is good for you. Just because somebody loves you doesn't mean the somebody is good for you. 

    That you "can't imagine life without him" only goes to show you don't have much imagination. It doesn't say diddly about whether marrying him is a good idea. 

    I strongly urge you to defer marriage for a few years, to spend a few years working out a life time plan, working out "rules of the house" and "rules of how we deal with disagreement" before you get caught up in the whirlwind of wedding planning. You already have more than can handle with a new baby. Get through a few years of meeting your responsibilities as parents and loving partners before you make any lifetime commitments. 

    • Trish
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      You don't perfect things before the marriage that will never work. Grow as you go.

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  • 1 month ago

    If you talked about marriage then you both know this is what you want. It's true when a couple has a kid together they think they're supposed to get married. It just depends on your background. It might workout for some couples and for others not so much. Does your mom not like your fiancee? It's your life your mom should be more supportive if not don't let her negativity get to you. Good luck

    • Aaliyah1 month agoReport

      Yes she does like him! And we wanted marriage before pregnancy was in the picture 

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You should have a frank and open discussion with your mom, explaining how much this means to you and how special she will always be to you. Express your understanding that she may not be thrilled with your marriage, but tell her how important her blessing is for you and your hope that your (yours and hers) relationship will continue strong.

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