Other people wanting to use your swimming pool?

My husband has a great twin brother but he has a strange wife. Me and her dont get along in some things. She is (they are) underestimating their childrens illnesses, fevers, infectious diseases, no problem, they will put them between other children and they will say they are healthy. Im really over sensitive when we got to meet them. Me and my husband want to buy a house with an indoor pool and im really happy and excited but when i think they will want to use our pool it makes me feel sick. What can i do?! Im sure my husband will be wanting to let them use the pool but i just want people i can trust swimming in there. I feel really selfish but also im really mad at them they keep putting me in this position. My 3 years old daughter will be using the pool and i want to protect her! Im sure it will cause huge drama. Between me and my husband and between them, too, if we want to stop them from using it. The only thing i can think of is to keep saying the pool is being treated with chemicals and noone can swim there atm. But i cant keep on saying this all the time. Please, which other excuses can i use or how to deal with this so i dont have to shiver they might ask. Im so mad i have to feel like i have to protect my daughter from them all the time. Yesterday we met and their son was touching my daugther all the time and then i noticed he had wards on his fingertips. Im fuming. Help. Sometimes i even get a thought id rather give up on the house :( but its our dream house. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Pools are usually well treated with chemicals to stop them being petri dishes of diseases. Make sure your pool is properly maintained and you, your daughter and your household should be safe while its being used. Doesn't cover areas outside of it though. 

    You and your husband need to come to some sort of understanding on his family's visits, specially if they are unwell and still coming over. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Most people don't just announce that they want to use our pools. Anyone with manners, will wait until they are invited.

    Your brother in law and his wife apparently don't have manners and think it's ok to invite themselves to your house.

    I have two sisters and i don't just invite myself and my entire family to their houses.... one of them has a pool. I don't ask or hint or show up to use their pool. If i'm invited, i might take my two sons over and swim for an hour or so. If not, i don't even think about it.

    Don't use an excuse. Tell the truth - that if you want company at your home, you'll invite people over, including them.

    Sometimes we have to spell things out for people who are dense and who have no apparent upbringing.

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  • 2 months ago

    you don't catch things through a properly treated and chlorinated pool so I'm not sure why that is your only concern. you do catch things from sick people being close enough to touch you. when and if you ever even buy a home with an indoor pool what to do is the same thing you should already be doing now, which is to say please don't bring your kids over when they are sick.

    • Irtcha2 months agoReport

      Thank you! 

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  • 2 months ago

    YOU are the one with the problem unfortunately. I think that YOU should have some counselling to find out why you are SO insecure. You are so insecure it isn't normal. You appear to be preparing to suffocate your own daughter. Because she might catch germs, are you going to prevent her leaving home to go to school and mix with 'dirty' children? You appear to be jealous of your sis in law and are prepared to force a wedge between your husband and his family on the pretext that you are 'protecting' your daughter. YOU need to see a doctor and get counselling to discover what is making you act SO unnaturally. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but there is something (probably way back in your childhood that you may have forgotten it's so far back) that is making you the way you are. Counselling will solve it and you will become far more relaxed and comfortable. At the moment you are highly-strung ALL the time. This isn't good for your health. See a doctor.

    • Irtcha2 months agoReport

      Thank you! I will really give this a thought. 

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  • 2 months ago

    An example, the little boy had some really infectious skin disease for a year, untreated, he was normally functioning everywhere, on the playground playing with everyones baby bikes, touching everything with the sores that were really infectious, no covering, no quarntine. Many times she even lied to me he already got rid of that disease and when we met them, i was shocked to see it was there and even worse. I was worried for a year my little girl could catch it but she luckily didnt. I was protectively trying to remove her from him as often as i could. Also o was desinfecting her things that he touched, every time. I developed some over reaction to illnesses that people have around us, i do get really paranoid now after all the experiences with her. There were many! And once we went to visit my uncle who has an indoor swimming pool. The other wifey has prepared everything to go swimming with the boy, even tho he still had the infectious disease that is most spreadable in swimming pools. And when we gently told her it would be a better idea to jump in when the disease is totally gone. And after this we hardly spoke for a long time.

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