Why do I struggle so much in the gay community?

Update:

Y'all I apologize this subject is in the wrong category, I know I can change the category but I already asked that question in the relevant category and I can't delete the question so...

Update 2:

I'm a 23 years old white gay male. I belong since very long time to the gay community and I have so many questions y'all. Why do gays always favorite the body with the muscles and all that? I struggle a lot with that as I had been body-shamed/bullied myself in middle school. Why not just accepting people like they are?

11 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Straight people are no less tolerant of the physique. Barbie dolls have impossibly thin wastes, women often get eating disorders, guys take weird drugs to get muscles and die early. 

    There are subsets of the gay community that are chubby chasers or go for guys with other types of features. You just have to find your niche. 

    Join some clubs and volunteer. By joining these existing groups you can meet a lot of people you would not have met otherwise. Try the local gay community center, may be pro lgbt place of worship, a rec league or book club or charity. And by all means get in some gay youth groups. 

    Newsflash - I was president of a gay straight alliance - sure many people idolize muscles - But the guys that came to that group were not all body builders - some were far from that.

    Honestly - the worst enemy you have is probably in the mirror. You need to relax, chill out and just have some fun. Put your self out their and just meet people while committing to enjoy the experience.

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  • 2 months ago

    Most gay people do,  if you are ruining into trouble,  you need to change how you interact with others.

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  • 2 months ago

    This question or one like has appeared many times here.  The answer has to do with where you are "looking".  Online dating apps and bars, etc. are not cool places to "shop" - or maybe they are too cool.  Meetups and clubs and sports leagues that cater to your interests and values are better places to meet and make friends.  And who knows where friendship can lead.  I know from personal experience that acceptance can be had within the gay community.  And yes, there is a gay community or perhaps it's better to say there are

    many

    gay communities.  You just have to find the one that suits you.  Good luck.

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  • 2 months ago

    I don't get why people are so obsessed with the notion that every single LGBT person is part of or SHOULD be a part of the so called "LGBT Community". Gay people come in all shapes and sizes (both mentally and physically). Most gay people don't fit the gay stereotype perpetuated by the media.

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  • 2 months ago

    How the hell would we know why? Do we know you?

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  • 2 months ago

    I know various non-"scene" gay couples who are stable, committed and happy.  You just need to wait for the right guy to come along.

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  • 2 months ago

    If I am understanding the question correctly. Struggle to find your place is how I interpreted your question 

    Because there are strict rules in that community. 

    Conduct. 

    Politics. 

    Fashion

    Etc. 

    the rules are set by the unelected power brokers. The people that will make your life hell if you don’t do not conform to community rules. 

    if you break ANY of their collective Rules, you are shunned and deemed a “Sellout”

    Better to stay away and find your own Path. This grants much more happiness now that you are lot working so hard to become them just to fall short.   Do be them. You be you. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Well if you're straight , I guess you might find it difficult to find a girl friend there.

    Just saying . 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Hmm... Not enough lube, maybe. Don't be stingy. Use lots.

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  • Peter
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Could it be because you think it is political?

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