Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 2 months ago

Etiquette for booking a wedding for 2021?

I am a bride getting married on September 6th 2020 (I have been engaged for 2 years and have been waiting for this day for a long time). With everything going on, it’s possible that our wedding might get postponed until 2021.  Our venue is not ready yet to give us an alternative date yet in case that happens (they will within the next month). In the meantime, both my cousin, who is my MOH and my fiancé’s sister, a bridesmaid, got engaged during the pandemic, want to get married in 2021, and are looking at venues already. My fiancé and I politely asked them that under the circumstances, to please refrain from picking a date until we know what our potential alternative date is (we are not stopping them from getting married in 2021). This request was not well-received, particularly by my fiancé’s sister and his parents, who believe that she has every right to choose whatever date she would like regardless of our situation.  She is looking at a venue in person today and I’m getting anxious that’s she’s going to fall in love with it and want to book it ASAP.  I don’t know what dates will be available for our wedding, and either one of them picking a date before us limits our already limited options.  It’s making already uncertain situation that more anxiety-filled. Any advice, suggestions completely appreciated! 

18 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Sorry, but I agree with them, they shouldn't have to wait to pick their date.. even if they marry before you do, that is their right too.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    There are 365 days in a year.  YOU were wrong to ask them to hold off picking a date in 2021 just because you might have to postpone your wedding.

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  • 1 month ago

    Take a deep breath and get a grip.  You don't own "first dibs" on 2021. 

    Instead of acting like a spoiled toddler, look at all of this as an advantage. If your cousin or fiancé's sister select dates now, and you end up deciding to reschedule your wedding, then you get the benefit to knowing when their dates are so you can ensure they don't interfere with yours.  If you book first, both women could still select a date that would "impinge" on your wedding. 

    Ultimately, you need to stop looking at any of this as a competition. It isn't. You also need to realize that it is VERY likely that your wedding could go on, as planned, this coming September.  Focus on what is important. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Weddings/engagements  are not like waiting in line...first come, first serve.

    YOU happen to  be among millions of brides whose weddings were either cancelled or postponed. That does not mean the whole wide world waits for Covid era brides to get married before they do.

    Your entitlement issues are undoubtedly selfish.

    What some, not all brides fail to realize is that, after a wedding, everyone goes home and back to their lives, like it never happened. This marriage may be life changing for you, but it is just a 240 minute party for everyone else. And, I honestly do not say this to be mean, it is simply the truth to put it into prospective.

    Yeah, it sucks that a pandemic happened. We all are suffering in one way or another. Think of all the brides whose father's died due to the virus...those brides missed the opportunity to have their dad's walk them done the aisle.

    You will get your wedding day...enjoy it when the day arrives....regardless when it takes place. If you count Friday night, Saturday and Sundays as possible wedding days  you have three days a week  times 52 weeks....that is potentially 156 days in a year for you and the other two engaged couples to get married.

    My goodness, get a grip,  girl.

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  • Trish
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    I know you're going through a lot having to possibly postpone the wedding but there's no interfering in anyone else wedding or marriage.  It's probably best to apologise to your moh and bridesmaid.  Can you have a small ceremony in September or are you determine to go through with your original plans?  Honestly considering the pandemic everything maybe pushed back 18 months.

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  • 1 month ago

    Sorry, but you won't get much sympathy here.  What you did was very wrong and entitled (even if you aren't that way otherwise).  You can't tell another couple to hold off on picking their wedding date until yours gets sorted out! 

    I do get that this is an unusual situation, where most of the guests will be the same, but that doesn't change the basic fact that this was rude.  It also doesn't matter that you asked them "politely".  That doesn't turn a rude action into a nice one.  

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  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You are out of your mind.You can not tell other how to run their lives .

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "My fiancé and I politely asked them that under the circumstances, to please refrain from picking a date until we know what our potential alternative date is". - no. NO NO NO NO. that is rude. they can pick whenever the hell they want and don't need to refrain from anything. even tho you said you're not stopping them from getting married, you technically ARE. don't be one of those selfish brides... PLEASE. they had every right to be upset with you. you may have just lost your bridesmaids, etc

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Sorry, but you are in the wrong here. You had no right to ask them to hold off picking a wedding date because you possibly, maybe will need to pick a new date for the year 2021.  

    It was beyond rude of you think they need to hold off in their plans because of you. Doesn’t matter how politely you asked, the request itself was an outrageous one to ask. 

    They DO have every right to pick what ever date they want  to.

    You have a wedding date.  If your wedding gets postponed, then you get to pick a new date.  You do not get to put the whole year of 2021 on hold just for yourself. 

    My suggestion would be to apologize profusely  to these brides and tell them your anxiety got in the way of good common sense, that of course there are enough weekends in the year for all of you to pick a date and get married.

  • 2 months ago

    You cannot reasonably ask any other couple to delay making their own plans because yours are currently unknown.

    • Jerry
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Wonderfully succinct! Well done! 

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