Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 months ago

My daughter was arrested last night and is currently in jail. Should I post her bail?

Last night my 20 year old daughter who just finished her sophomore year of college was arrested on charges of drunk driving. Apparently she had been at a small gathering with friends and tried to drive home. She blew just over the limit and is currently in jail. 

Obviously this was a major mistake on her end and my husband and I aren’t sure how to handle it. She doesn’t have enough savings to pay the bail, and would have to stay in jail for about a week until her next hearing if we don’t post bail. 

She’s a very high achiever. She’s on her university volleyball team, has an excellent GPA and is highly involved in her sorority. The thought of her being handcuffed and taken to jail makes my stomach turn. But she did commit a serious crime and I want her to realize the seriousness. What would you do if it was your daughter?

15 Answers

Relevance
  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    I'm not going to condone her behaviour here, but I will educate you on somethings

    An average sized woman is legally drunk after consuming 1 drink, whether it be a glass of wine or a beer, she is at the point where she would be impaired! The funny thing is, most women aren't even aware of this, they think after one drink they are fine to drive or whatever, when they aren't.

    Your daughter made a very stupid mistake, by that it was very stupid, and she is lucky that she didn't injure/kill herself and others along the way! I think your daughter is well aware of how bad she messed up here, I'm pretty sure that sunk right in when she saw the flashing lights behind her car.

    I think you should post the bail on several conditions here

    1- That she pays back the money in full

    2- If she ***** up even once by drinking during her court process, you turn her in and sher bail is revoked

    3- That she signs up for an education course on alochol and the dangers of it

    4- She attends all court hearing

    5- She pleads guilty right away, and does not try to fight the charges.

    She's a good person, but she ****** up real bad here, she needs to take ownership of her poor choices, suffer the consequences and learn from her mistakes going forward in life.

    • J
      Lv 5
      2 months agoReport

      Always try to fight the charges. Never plead guilty without being offered a plea deal

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Cammie
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I used to work for the dept of correction.

    Get her out of there.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Bail her out. Then sit her down and have a serious, long, talk about drinking and driving. And let her know it will be her job to pay the ticket which she will end up having--the court costs and fine. She's over 18--she's a legal adult--and all you can do is pray she will have learned her lesson. But if she lives with you, you can let her know that she will not get this ever again, and that you aren't going to tolerate her drinking and driving while she stays in your home. 

    Other than that, she made the decision--she is going to have to face the consequences. She is also gong to have to pay for any insurance costs that escalate because of the DUI. Hope she's working. This is going to cost her. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If it was my university she’s be kicked out of the sorority, i mean i know a few guys who were kicked out of my frat for disorderly conduct, just imagine what a sorority would do with a criminal. It would break her heart. I would post bail as long as i could afford it...then again i’m the type to be livid at drunk drivers because they put so many other lives at stake.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    What a complete load of rubbish. Got any new m material?

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Bail her out after she spends 12 hours in a holding cell, let her sweat a while.  It’s going to cost her about $10k in fines and legal fees not to mention she just eliminated a lot of government jobs from her future employment hopes.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    My daughters knew my rules very clearly.

    There is NO excuse for drinking any amount of alcohol and then driving.  EVER.

    My daughters knew that if they landed in jail for drunk driving - they would be staying in jail.  

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    That's a really hard one, I know I'd be tempted to leave her where she's at and let her face the consequences of her decisions. On the other hand, you probably don't want this to wind up ricocheting into negatively affecting her education. I honestly have no idea what I would do... bail her out and take the car back home with me? Have her use public transportation until she can pay back her bail?

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Tulip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    What are the bond details? Need more info

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Of course. All that nonsense about her being a high achiever is irrelevant. So is all of that nonsense about it being a serious crime. She's an adult. It's not up to you to judge her. It's not up to you to punish her. It's up to the court to do all that. It's up to you to be there for your daughter, not throw salt on the wound just to make her suffer even more than she's already going to like you're teaching her some kind of lesson when both she and you are past that. So you bail her out. Period.

    Now that she's an adult and living on her own, your role isn't to teach her anymore, not unless she asks you for advice. I mean, it's not like she's ever abused you or given you reason to withhold your help, so your role is to support her like you would any sibling or friend you hold very dear, who when they screw up you don't browbeat or be an asshoIe to but instead be supportive of and help where you can when they ask you to as they suffer the bounty of harsh consequences for their screw-up that the world so freely hands out. It's not yours to further add to her immense suffering; it's yours to ease it. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.