Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

My boyfriend is constantly breaking up with me but wants to marry me. I should feel happy so why don’t I ?

On top of not being financially stable enough for marriage we have had many issues in our relationship the past 5 years. He used to be extremely controlling and short tempered. He’s 37 lives with his parents. He’s upset because I don’t want to move in with him and get an apartment. I said he can move in by himself but we need to work out our issues a little bit more before we even think of get married or move in together. He said we can do a court house marriage first and then a wedding when we can afford it. I should feel happy he wants to marry me but I don’t know why a part of me feels like he’s going to go back to his old habits. I told him I need more time because even though we’ve been together for 5 years weve been having problems the whole five years. Just the other day he was screaming at me over a dream I had and threatened to break up with me. He threatens to break up with me every time he’s angry. And I need to know that he’s not going to just end things when tough times come. I never broke up with him even through everything he put me through. Why does he want to marry me so bad even when he breaks up with me a million times. 

Update:

I’m 28 I just lost my job and I don’t want to be relying on him to live because that’s just going to make his controlling behavior worse.  He’s never hit me he’s just always been short tempered and hostile with me.

43 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Why would you be happy about the prospect of living the rest of your life with somebody like that?

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • L
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    If you have issues, even after 5-years........it is NOT going to work  DUMP him and move on.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Why in the world would he want to marry you?  Is he an idiot?

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • car253
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I think you need some counseling.  I mean that in the nicest way.   You need to figure out why you are staying with this guy.  You already know this is NOT a healthy relationship.      I would leave him ASAP.    Stop calling him and change your phone number.    Get some counseling to figure out why you would even stay or go back to this type of person.    Seriously.    And, I mean that in a helpful way. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 2 months ago

    It seems like you already know the answer.

    • car253
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      Yeah.   Marriage is a very bad idea.   Smart woman.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    In my experience, my ex always used to guilt trip me, making me feel bad about certain things. You, my dear, deserve better than someone who is always being threatened with a breakup and then wanting to get married the next. There is more to life than men who think they can manipulate their girlfriends/boyfriends into getting people to bow down to them. You do you, I know you will make the right decision that is best for YOU.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Jane
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I think most people here agree that this relationship isn't healthy and it's time to break free. You already know this, you just don't know how to do it- and I'm guessing you're concerned about his behaviour when you tell him, and afterwards. I wondered- do you have close friends and /or relatives that you trust to have your back? Do not let him isolate you and make you vulnerable when you decide to break away.If so, you should choose the one that you think will be the best supporter and adviser and share your worries with them. If not, contact a helpline to discuss your feelings, and the best approach to breaking up, so that you are not alone dealing with this problem.Either way, you must protect yourself as he is controlling and aggressive. Make sure there is someone else there if you tell him in person, or if you tell him by phone/text, as he may come to your door. Be safe! 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    I would like to mention a couple things:

     

    First, there is absolutely no problem in adults living with their parents for whatever reason put them there.  Many countries around the world do this. It is apart of their culture to live with parents and grand parents. 

    Second,  everyone talking on this thread is correct in regards to this mans impetulant behavior.  

    Suggestion: Find reasons to distance yourself from him. Start by saying that you  have planned the day for putting in job applications.  Followed by interviews being scheduled in which you need to get ready for them. 

    You deserve better than this.  

    • Andrew S2 months agoReport

      Women will leech off of anyone.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Lmao he sounds like a complete loser dump his *** 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Uhmmm... you're not happy because your boyfriend isn't anyone to write home about? At least I'm struggling to see why you're even together with him.

    - He's 37 and lives with his parents

    - He's proven he can be controlling and short tempered

    - He threatens to break up with you all the time

    - He screams at you

    - You've been having problems throughout your relationship

    The only positive thing you've said about him is that he's never hit you. Think about that for a minute. Being in a relationship is something that should make your life BETTER, not worse. You've already wasted five years of your youth on this guy, don't waste any more.

    • Andrew S2 months agoReport

      Yeah no free ride there.  Go on girl, get a man that can pay everything for you and you can clean him out in divorce court when its time for you to move on.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.