milky way asked in HealthWomen's Health · 2 months ago

My mom still comes in the room with me at the doctors?

Just to start things off I can't drive so that's why she even comes in the first place. Everytime I have an appointment, the doctor always asks "are you fine if mom comes in the room?" and I always say "No I'm good alone" and my mom interrupts and says "No, it's fine! She doesn't mind!" and butts herself in. I'm 22 and even my friends younger than I am don't have this issue. I don't have anyone else who could bring me (my boyfriend lives 40 minutes away), and even if I made a secret appointment my mom would still find out about it from the mail reminder (she opens my mail). Next visit I desperately need a prescription for birth control, and I definitely don't want her there for that. HELP?!

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  • Mystic
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    You have every right as a legal adult to decline her being in the exam room. She has no business being back there. The doctors/nurses also CANNOT legally tell her anything if she would ask. Just tell her she can still take you, but she may NOT come in the room. Tell the doctor's office the same thing. Tell them you want to be alone and do not want her in the exam room.

    Also, why does she open YOUR mail? That is illegal. You are not allowed to get into othet people's mail. She needs to get a grip.

    Is there a way you could move in with your boyfriend or at the very least get a PO box at your post office so you can keep your mail away from her?

    I hope you're able to talk to her and get her to back off because her behavior is beyond unacceptable.

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  • 2 months ago

    I think she will probably understand, if you put it gently. If you are college student, medical care might be included in the cost of tuition. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Opening someone's mail is a felony. And if you don't want someone in the exam room with you, it is the doctor's responsibility to respect your wishes

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  • 2 months ago

    You are an adult. Before you go, just tell your mom, "hey, I'm old enough to go alone" or something and be honest. You shouldn't have to feel like you cant make that choice

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  • 2 months ago

    Well you’re a legal adult and that’s YOUR health information you should be able to just say you don’t want her in there and legally if you say that I don’t think she’s allowed in there. Even if she’s your mother. 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    WHY ARE YOU STILL LIVING AT HOME, at your age? You're an ADULT, not a little kid. Your mom is breaking the law by opening your mail without permission, and you need to make her aware of that.

    Another issue is your lack of a driver's license. Unless you have a valid medical reason such as epilepsy or a seizure disorder that precludes you from getting licensed, then you need to sign up for driving classes, get licensed, and get yourself a CAR. Learning to drive is part of being an adult, and it's impossible to function in America unless you know how to drive. There's no shame in learning at an older age- I was 26 before I finally got my first license, so I know. All states have driving schools and driving instructors. Contact your local DMV office to find out where you can sign up for instruction.

    The reason why you get asked if you mind having your mom in the room at doctor's appointments is because doctors and other medical professionals are prohibited by law from working alone in most states. They aren't allowed to conduct invasive exams of the genital organs without another adult (and this is often a fellow medical professional) present in the room. If they DO attempt to do this and get caught, they can lose their license and possibly end up in JAIL. These laws weren't passed to make you uncomfortable, they were passed for your protection and the protection of younger teens and kids. They were also passed because there have been repeated cases of doctors sexually assaulting and abusing patients, often very young children.

    Here in DE, where I live, we have some of the strongest patient protection laws around, mostly because of the Bradley sexual abuse case that happened around a decade ago. Earl Bradley was a pediatrician who had a practice in the southern part of the state, near the city of Lewes. He also had, to put it mildly, a taste for humping veal, if you get my meaning. Over the course of about a decade, he sexually assaulted or raped over 100 kids, most of which were babies or toddlers, in the basement of his office building. He even videotaped himself committing his crimes- and the tapes were later shown to the jury at his criminal trial. He was convicted on all counts, and was eventually given a sentence of 3 life terms plus an additional 120 years in prison for his crimes. And of course, he promptly lost his license to practice medicine, something he never should have been granted in the first place. He lives at the Vaughn Correctional Center in Smyrna, DE now, and the only way he'll ever leave that place is in a body bag. The building that housed his practice has been torn down, and the land it sat on was sold a few years ago at a sheriff's auction because nobody would buy it.

    After Bradley was exposed and went to prison, the state of DE completely changed its legal code, so that it is now one of the strongest states in the nation when it comes to the issue of child abuse prevention. And one of the side effects of the new laws is that patients who are undergoing invasive exams get asked if they want to have company in the exam room.

  • 2 months ago

    Have you considered just firmly saying "no"?

    Have you considered taking a taxi?

    Start acting like an adult and get treated like one.

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  • 2 months ago

    You should talk to that Dr. alone and tell him/ her under no circumstances is my mother to come in here with me.  Tell him you’ll report him.  Dr.’s Have a duty to their patients and their patients’ confidentiality.  

  • 2 months ago

    Tell here Nicely but * Firmly* NO

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Learn to speak up. Tell her you do mind, and ask her to leave. You need to set some boundaries with her. She definitely shouldn't be opening your mail. You're an adult now and need to start acting like one.

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