Husband does not want to use a sperm donor?

Update:

He has a very low sperm count and we have had 4 failed IVF's. He said that he doesn't want to use a sperm donor and the only way he would is if both the egg and the sperm were donated. I am 37 and desperate to have a child. He said he could not bear the idea of my egg with someone elses sperm and if I want a child that badly that I should find "someone else" to be with. Should I choose my husband or a chance to have a baby.?

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  • 1 month ago

    How about ADOPT.. and IF I were hubby I would DIVORCE you if you had someone elses kid and refuse to pay child support without a paternity test proving its mine.. MAKE THE REAL BABY DADDY PAY FOR IT..

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  • 2 months ago

    Why don't you adopt?

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  • 2 months ago

    i dont care woman, go **** youreself

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  • J
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    I think maybe he’s afraid of being the “non-parent” while you are still the biological mother. Maybe he’s afraid that the kid will only look like you, have your genes, and inherit your mannerisms. He’s afraid of being left out, or having the kid not think of him as the real dad. I don’t think that’s how things would actually turn out, but I can understand his fears. If you get divorced, he might be afraid the kid won’t really be his. Maybe he thinks it will love you more. I think counseling is a good idea. You don’t see any reason to use donor eggs since yours are fine, but I can understand his concern. Have you considered adoption? There are lots of children that need loving families already. Instead of spending thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and surrogates, adoption is a great option. I think your husband is just worried that you will be more of a parent than him, and he may not feel good about you carrying another mans genes in your belly. I don’t think he’s necessarily right, but I don’t think he’s totally wrong either. You should work on a solution that you both are comfortable with. 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Find a neighbor to help you.  Then when you get pregnant, you can tell your husband it's a miracle.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You should try therapy.  At this point it appears that you care about having a child more than you care about your husband.  But are you thinking about what it will be like to be a single parent?  Are you being realistic about parenthood?  Maybe the solution is to get therapy to figure out why you're so desperate that you will torpedo several lives just to have a baby, without caring about how that child will be raised or what quality of life it would have.

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  • geezer
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I agree with your husband.

    The sperm AND THE EGG should be donated

    and if you think ''but it has to be MY EGG to be MY CHILD''

    NOW you understand how your husband feels !

    • J
      Lv 5
      2 months agoReport

      If the child isn’t going to have either parents DNA, adoption is a good choice. Lots of unwanted kids out there who need loving families. I bet it costs less than a surrogate too. 

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  • 2 months ago

    I suppose you gave him a chance to use his own.  

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    • Katie2 months agoReport

      Actually not true J if the sperm isnt strong it wont make it to full term it's a both side thing 

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