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Guy I’m seeing is passive. Does that mean he isn’t interested?

In general I think his personality is quite laid back and mellow. He is a bit docile 

Is that just how he is or is he this way because he just isnt interested? 

We are seeing each other casually but he is not very sexual. We go on dates and he’s really romantic but it’s just in that moment. No follow up or nothing after that. I’m the one putting in more efforts and trying to fight for smth. He just goes along with it 

He’s not someone who would cause a scene or do something loud to be noticed in public. I made him take the enneagram test and he could 5 which totally matches his personality. He thinks with logic. Not emotion. He’s detached. Can be characterized as a loner. And fears that people will judge him if he’s not good at something so hides his fear through distance. This is what it is to be that personality type and it’s how I would describe him too. 

Are these all signs of who he is as a person or is he being this way with me because he wants To be aloof and doesn’t want me to get attached and doesn’t like me. Could it be that he has a different side to him which I have not been introduced to because I’m not his gf 

FYI we have hung out 16times and it’s not always been abt sex. We hang out in public and have been on many dates. It just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere really. Whether it be casual or more

2 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Why are you asking a question that you already know the answer to? More importantly, why are you wasting your time on a person that is not compatible with you and leaves you wanting so much more? You aren't going to change his basic personality by putting in more effort. It is much more rooted in his childhood than that will ever affect. No matter what you do or how much effort you make he is not going to change something that was developed in him by the age of 7 or 8 years old. My advice is to accept that fact and move on in your search to find someone that you are much more emotionally compatible with and until you do don't stop along the way to waste any more of your precious life on someone that isn't.

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  • 2 months ago

    I would just find someone you are more compatible with. It sounds like this guy might be going through the motions. You shouldn't really have to keep making the plans, that and his personality are going to get tiring in the coming years.

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