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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 2 months ago

Is it my fault?

I met up with someone I met online.

At the time he was 28, and I was 15/not the age of consent. He told me that nothing sexual would happen and that convinced me that it would be okay.I know I was naive for even meeting up with him but I have never had a reason to fear this kind of thing. I was a very conservative girl and was never aware of the dangers of doing that kind of thing.

We met up, he was nice, so he took me to his car and said we'd drive around. I got in and he parked outside of a park somewhere. He wanted to hop into the back seat so we did.

That's when it happened. 

He started touching me despite telling me earlier that nothing sexual would happen. I was really confused and scared and I didn't know what to do. I felt trapped and I didnt want to hurt his feelings because he was so nice. I was afraid to say no, or to say anything. I just sat there, quiet, while he touched me.

Eventually he got his penis out and guided my hand to it. Again, I didnt know what to do, I didn't know how to say no, I couldn't move because I was so scared.

He made me rub it, then told me to suck it. When I didn't he guided my head to it, so I did. He eventually dropped me off to go home and I never told anyone.

I feel so ashamed and sick and horrible about it. SO horrible. I've self harmed myself over it. 

I've always felt like it was okay because I never said no but I always feel so bad about it.

Please can someone tell me if I was wrong? was he wrong? Am i wrong to feel this way?



I didn't want to do any of this ^^

Update 2:

I have anxiety disorder which he knew about, i don't know if this is important information or not..

3 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You can dispute if that was rape or not. The question on that is did you want to? However, this would be statutory rape. How long ago was this? Depending on where you live, the laws may very on the statute of limitations when it comes to reporting this. No one can tell you how to go about handling this, that’s entirely up to you. I wish you the best of luck. 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I really don't have a lot of sympathy for kids that ignore their parent's warnings and advice. Even less when they ignore the warnings published by every authority in the USA, and do things that are totally stupid. When they make no physical effort to prevent it from happening, I can't feel sorry for them. There is NO excuse. Worrying about some dude's feelings while he's molesting and/or raping you isn't fear, it's complicity. Accept responsibility and move on with your life. Hopefully you learned something besides self harming.

    • nic2 months agoReport

      I agree with you to some extent, but the 28 year old is not innocent either. Regardless of how you look at consent, it was statutory rape. He should’ve known better than to even meet with an underage girl, especially in the era of the Me too movement. 

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  • 2 months ago

    It was kind of your fault for meeting with a 28 year old men stranger and going to his car...he could have kidnap u..

    He is a creep ...

    • nic2 months agoReport

      Face it, a guy in his 20s isn’t giving off a creepy vibe. He’s giving off a cool guy type vibe. 

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