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wish i had the enchantment i had as a kid?

when i was a kid in the 80's, there was this girl who lived next door to me called Rebecca and she fancied me rotten, and i fancied her and we were boyfriend and girlfriend....and i was so happy at that time in my life, i felt enchantment, wonder about the world.....had so much hope for my future and when i grew up..

but sadly my adult life never turned out the way i wanted it, i have suffered a lot, been through hard times, a hard life, suffered mental problems and missed out on building any adult relationships, never had a female partner.....and ended up living alone in a council flat with the only support system my elderly parents who live far away....and i have missed out and been cheated out of females relationships and the life i wanted...

i now live out a lonely isolated life, wishing i could go back to the mid 80's when i had rebecca who loved and fancied me.........and wonder why ive never found that kind of relationship as an adult, with a woman?....i feel truly cheated and deprived of relationships with females.

how do i get over this?  i am now 42 years old, and also acquired type 2 diabetes years ago.....so i manage that as well.

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