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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

What I’m i doing to be a bad friend?

One of my my friends, who I’d consider my best friend even though I’m not hers (her sister is) and I always seem to get in fights. These are usually almost always over text and it’s always me apologising in the end. It’s always something that I’ve done wrong and she calls me a bad friend and a “mouthy *****” and I’m genuinely confused bc I don’t understand. I never initiate the fights just bc I hate fights and I’m always apologising. She has never apologised to me for things that I’ve felt like she has wronged me for. If I call her on something or bring something up that she has done that has upset me it’s always “you did this so it’s fine” or it’ll just turn into a fight on how **** I am and how she is the only one there for me and she’s the main person who deals with my ****. And that is true. She’s there for me but puts me down every now and then. I know for a fact that I’m not a victim in this situation but it’s just painful to think that she’s more important to me than I am to her. She has her sister and they are the two closest people I’ve ever seen in my life. When I’ve pissed her off or have upset her, she can go to her and discuss it all but when I feel like she’s wronged me I have no one to tell. Because she’s the one I’d go to. And I don’t want to ***** about her to anyone. I’d feel wrong because even if one day we ended up not being friends I never want to talk **** about her because I’ll always remember how much of an important person she was in my life.

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  • 2 months ago

    Unfortunately, those are the signs of a really toxic friend. I'm not sure how old you are, but this behavior can be common in teenagers because let's face it, it's hard to admit when we're wrong. However, people need to learn that. If someone refuses to admit they're ever wrong, if they constantly blame you and insult you, they're not being a good friend. You sound like you need to try to branch out and try to become closer with other people.

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  • 2 months ago

    Unfortunately friendships aren't always equal.  That being said, you want more from this relationship than your friend wants to give to you.  She knows you are in her back pocket and she's taking advantage of that fact that you feel she's your best friend.  As you stated:  "...and how she is the only one there for me and she’s the main person who deals with my ****." So she knows this but is treating you like crap.  She holds this over you that she's the only one there for you as an excuse to manipulate you into apologizing and taking the blame for the issues you guys have.  What's wrong with apologizing right or wrong?  Nothing.  It helps heal.  If she's not willing to apologize or accept an apology, then she's not a very good/nice person.  She doesn't deserve such a good friend as you.  Step her down in the relationship until she understands that you don't need her.  And that you can move forward and find other people to be friends with you.  The relationship you have with her is so one sided.  It's not worth the hassle in my opinion to cater to her if she won't reciprocate.

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