promotion image of download ymail app
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Did I do the right think with my ex wife?

I ran into my ex wife Connie’s brother at a party and he told me Connie was getting married. Since we are on friendly terms, I thought it appropriate, I sent her a nice wedding gift and a note wishing her a long, happy marriage.

I got a thank you note from her telling me how much she liked the gift. The note also ask me not to contact her again as her new husband did not want her to have any contact with other men, especially me. I email her that I understood and I did not want to cause her any problems with her marriage.

I had not heard from her for over a year when she called me. She ask if she could stay with me while she was getting a divorce. I told her I did not think that was a good idea. I would however help her find an apartment where she could live. I was thinking having a married woman live with me while she was still married might cause us both problems.

Then she told me she was the victim of domestic violence and was afraid her husband might hurt her or something ever worse. I told her to come to my house to stay for a while and not tell ANYONE where she was.

I hope I made the right decision. Do you think I did? What should I do now to help her live on her own?

5 Answers

  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    No, you should have told her to go stay with her brother or other family members.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • boj
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes you made the wrong decision. Her family should have stepped in to help her and she should have gone to the police. She also should have moved into the apartment. If husband is abusive just think what he will do if he finds out shes with you.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • RP
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes, you did the right thing. Now, you should assist her finding a more permanent place to live.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Sure! You are right at all!

    But, you shall care yourself to do right thing!

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Merry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes - you have done the right thing, you have supported someone who is at their most vulnerable.

    Thank you for your kindness and for being a friend to your ex.

    I was in a similar position to your ex & will forever be grateful to my friend for his support. 

    Make sure you set boundaries, you are not her counsellor, set time frames. (eg - you can stay for X weeks as long as ex doesn't know and you are prepared to implement tough measures. Set weekly things to address - This week you need to go to a doctor and get a referral for counseling & apply for any entitlement with Centrelink, get all finances in order and make sure you cancel credit card, freeze joint accounts etc. 

    You are her friend only (she is confused, hurting & desperately wants to feel loved & safe but she needs to get her life back before she can consider another relationship) 

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.