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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 months ago

"Almost" stepbrothers sharing bath?

Some background; I'm a longtime single mother with a 10 year old son. My ex is not in the country, and we hear from him once or twice a year. I've been seeing my current boyfriend Sam for almost a year, and he's the single father to two sons, 5 and 9. My son Eric mostly gets along with them, but sometimes finds them annoying.

Due to the current situation with the virus we're all staying at Sam's place, and we're using it as a trial run for "blended family."

Every night Sam gives his 5 year old a bubble bath before bed, and sometimes the 9 year old will join. After a few nights of this, Eric started joining them in the tub. He's old enough to wash himself, which he does, he's just there to play with the other boys. He felt left out hearing they were doing something "fun" that he wasn't doing...and during this "stay indoors" time period there isn't much "fun".

I thought nothing off of it, but my mother told me I should end this ASAP. She said they weren't Eric's stepbrothers yet, so it wasn't appropriate. She also said that I was putting my boyfriend at risk for accusations by allowing him to be in the bathroom with someone that isn't his son. 

Being cooped up for weeks has my questioning every single parenting decision. Should my son stop sharing baths with his "almost" stepbrothers?

Update:

Update: A few people have raised concerns I might be sharing too much. Names have been changed, and a few identifying descriptions have been altered. 

My son and I haven't really discussed it, but he's initiated it everytime he's joined them. He told my boyfriend to cover his eyes until he got under the bubbles the first time, but got over it a minute later, so I'm guessing he's not embarrassed. Despite that, I have concerns about my mother's other points. 

8 Answers

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  • Mark
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No,

    This sounds wrong on so many level but

    if ya really do feel it's ok than keep living

    This way my Home cuz & find out how things

    turn out !

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  • 2 months ago

    My .02 cents

    1- There is nothing wrong with them sharing a bath! They are boys, they all have the same parts and when they grow up they will be doing that in school at gym, even as adults when they do workouts or go swimming etc. It's nothing sexual, they don't view it that way, to them its just the 3 of them hanging out, it's 100% innocent!

    2- I think its inappropriate that your partner is in the room with them while they are bathing! There is zero need for it, at 5 and 9, they are old enough to wash themselves, and they don't require an adult in the room with them while they are bathing either, its a complete lack of boundaries here.

    3- I find it concerning his mother would instantly go to the thoughts of her son being accused of sexually abusing his kids/others, it has to make you wonder! I'm wondering if he has in fact sexually abused his kids before, it just raises my suspicions that his mother would go to that thought process.

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  • edward
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    My best friend and i used to shower together. We’re both guys, i don’t see a big deal. We’re not almost brothers either. Although if COVID-19 is really something you’re concerned about everyone should be going one at a time

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  • 2 months ago

    Troll parents have a lot of problems.

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  • 2 months ago

    If the boys don't mind, it's no one else's business. 9 and 10 are approaching an age when they'll prefer privacy, They'll say when that happens. Meanwhile, stop sharing this sort of stuff. Again, it's no one else's business, especially your prudish mom's.

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  • 2 months ago

    I think your mom is off her rocker!!! How crazy! The boys are probably bored to death (I understand, my kids are 11, 7 and 2) and are just having fun. In the future I would have all of them wear their trunks into the bath and let them play for an hour or so, then they can take turns rinsing off, unless you and your son are comfortable with the nudity and have no issues. You guys have been together a year, not a month. This is definitely your call as mom, just tell the boys that because some people have their own unresolved issues, that this should remain a thing that stays between only the people living in the home, but privately tell your son if he ever feels uncomfortable to tell you immediately. Good luck!

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  • 2 months ago

    Tbh, the only risk you’re putting yourself at is by sharing this on the Internet. Is it weird? At their age, it’s not too bad, but in the next few years...it should come to an end. It’s your son though, if you’re okay with it, and he’s okay with it, I don’t see a big issue with this. 

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  • Nicey8
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Yes, stop sharing baths to avoid gossips.

    Watch some youtube videos on how to avoiding strife in the house.

    take care.

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