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Girl I had a one night stand with is pregnant and refuses a paternity test. What can I do?

I’ve known this girl for 3 yrs

 & my friends have hinted that she’s into me but I wasn’t interested. 2 an a

 half months ago, I was invited to a b-day celebration & she was there. End of the night, I got really drunk and couldn’t drive. She offered to let me sleep at her place & I accepted. Even though I was way too intoxicated, we still had sex.

 

Nxt morning we had an argument abt it because I didn’t think it was cool that I was drunk & she definitely wasn’t. She said we both had fun so she didn’t know why I was making a big deal. It bothered me that she was so casual about it so I left & didn’t keep contact.

I got a txt from her a few wks ago saying we needed to talk. We met up &she told me she was pregnant. It scared me, but I said I still wanted to be involved. Only recently I started thinking there’s a chance this baby isn’t mine. She goes out a lot &sees other guys too

I told her that I wanted a prenatal paternity test just to be sure. I thought I was making a pretty reasonable request.But she went off on me instead, that she couldn’t believe I didn’t trust her after all the time I’ve known her. I’ve still tried to be insistent about this & she still refuses. She finally told me days ago that if we did the test & it’s mine, she won’t let me be around the baby because I have “trust issues” &doesn’t want that kind of person in their lives. 

I’m at a loss. I really want to know for sure this baby’s mine before investing the nxt months preparing. Is there any I can do?

4 Answers

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  • Archer
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She does not have a choice if she wants your name on the birth certificate or child support. Don't sign anything without a test, I suspect your "not" the father but she would love for you to be saddled with another man's child.

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  • 2 months ago

    In utero paternity tests (done by amniocentesis) are typically not advised by doctors as they are EXTREMELY invasive for mom and unsafe for the baby. This test will typically not be performed unless the dr. suspects there's something wrong with the baby. If a doctor doesn't require it, she doesn't have to do it, so basically, you'll have to wait until baby is born for a paternity test. 

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    • Emmalyne2 months agoReport

      Either way, she would have to submit to having her blood taken, which is still incredibly invasive for her, which causes stress to the fetus and can cause damage.

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  • Dave
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    She ROPED you, dude.

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    • Joseph2 months agoReport

      I have no problem paying child support. I just want to make sure the baby is mine first and that I have custody rights 

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    This is going to sound kind of harsh, but I recommend you get a lawyer to send her a strongly worded letter, explaining that she has committed multiple crimes:

    1) extortion/threats- which is a class 5 felony- by threatening financial harm if you want to exercise your constitutional right by confirming you’re indeed the father. She has no right to do that

    2) statutory rape- which is a class 3 felony in most states- having sex with you when you were drunk and incapacitated to do so. (Make sure you have the texts saved and screenshotted for evidence. Or a voice recording of you talking with her)

    Also have the lawyer explain that you have the legal right to a paternity test, and you expect one immediately, and that you’ll discuss/decide legal options and whether or not to press criminal charges after the results of the paternity test come out. Also add that if it is indeed your child, you’ll have a right to custody whether she likes it or not and since she’s a criminal and not you, you would have a strong case for primary custody. 

    The reason I suggest you take this strong approach is because she’s clearly a manipulative sociopath, or at the very least a plain old bad person, and the only way to get through to people like her is with a show of strength and legal backing on your side. She isn’t going to “just be reasonable” unless it actually benefits her to do so. If I were you I’d follow this up with a temporary protective order (as long as your lawyer confirms this is a good idea, and that it won’t interfere with the DNA test taking place). 

    • Joseph2 months agoReport

      Thank you for the advice. I know I’d eventually have to talk to a lawyer about this, but I just really want to keep the peace. As far as for the rape allegation...I don’t think I want to get into that legally. I could’ve initiated for all I know but just too drunk to remember 

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