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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

My girlfriend's father doesn't let her see me?

He becomes aggressive, threathens to hit her and makes her cry and be scared all day. Her mom has to intervene to stop it. My girlfriend is in her 20s and this is the reactions she gets everytime she mentions that she wants to live with me, he calls her b**** and threathens to hit her. What should we do? At first I thought I was the problem but then realized he wouod react this way for anyone

18 Answers

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    If you can afford the accommodation, remember that you are both adults.

    Why not simply plan your wedding and move.

    No need to rush it as things seem unlikely to change in the near future.

    If , however, he is physically violent, rather than just threatening, report it to the police and get her out immediately 

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  • car253
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    When he is not home, she should get all her stuff and move out.   She does not need his permission or his abuse.     Get her into some counseling.    She needs to learn to love herself enough to not be abused and stand up for herself.   Get her away from him. 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You should talk about marriage.  Maybe he has a problem because he doesn't know your intentions with his daughter.  You really shouldn't think of living together outside of marriage.  Good Luck.

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  • 2 months ago

    Yeah right, living without marriage. Marry first then do stuff

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  • 2 months ago

    Since she is in her twenties, that means she is 21 or over, unless you meant she is only 20, in which case she does not have a leg to stand on since she is still under 21.

    If she is 21 or over, she is an adult and she does not have any obligation whatsoever to listen to her dad. 

  • 2 months ago

    He cant stop her as she is over 18, she needs to call the cops on him

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe she should come stay with you

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  • 2 months ago

    Find a new place and she needs to just move out while he is away even if it means leaving some things behind. Then call him after a month or two when he calms down. If you do not move he will come directly to you house. If he is calling his won daughter the B word she is really emotionally abused and may take allot to get her to leave that abusive environment.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I had the same reaction as anon about only hearing one side.  At her age, your gf is free to leave any time she wants to live where she wants.  Why is she even telling him she wants to do this?  Also, when she says her mom intervenes, why isn't mom telling her what I'm saying here?  Mom probably doesn't want her leaving, either.

    If it matters, relationship experts would tell you it's a very bad idea to go straight from home to living with an SO.  This goes triple if the dynamics in the home aren't healthy.  I can guarantee your relationship isn't ready for this.  Maybe you could help her by looking at room shares nearby.  This is a great 1st step for someone leaving home for the 1st time.  She can still spend as many nights as she wants with you, but she needs to learn how to function as an adult.  She won't do this if she's transferring one dependence into another.

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  • zeno
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You both should move in together secretly.

    But it he knows where you live. You have

    To move far far away. Ok? The other option

    Is to walk away. As her kids might be as

    Awful as her dad. It's in her DNA now.

    • Fireplace
      Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      Adults do not have to do things secretly. If they're mature enough to live together they're mature enough to make the move with no secrecy. Teenagers keep secrets from their parents.

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