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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

My mums driving me crazy ?

Last month I broke up with my fiancé, so I’ve had to move back home with my parents until I find a new place. I thought it would be a nice gesture to cook dinner for my parents every night since they’re letting me stay there - I was so wrong! My mum is so fussy - she will like something one day and hate it the next. I ask her what she wants 1 hour before I cook, she tells me, I cook, she won’t eat it. If I stop cooking, she begs me to do it and says she loves my cooking but 8 out of 10 times she won’t eat it!! I know this sounds awful but... she’s turned into a brat! My 3 year old niece acts like this.. what should I do? Should I stop cooking even if she begs? I don’t want it to seem like I’m acting like the parent but does this need tough love? 

 

Update:

I have tried talking to her nicely about this, I’ve told her I’ll cook anything she wants if she can just google some recipes - she’s never done it and I’ve asked her at least 15 times 

Update 2:

She doesn’t know what she wants to eat, that’s the thing. It’s not necessarily about my cooking, she actually won’t eat if she doesn’t feel like pasta or casserole, even though she asked for it an hour prior 

Update 3:

I really do appreciate everyone’s answers but please understand that it was initially my idea, but anytime I don’t cook she tries to make me feel bad. She will eat something and love it, then I make it again 2 weeks later and she won’t eat it. She has these stupid ideas in her head about things she doesn’t like eg I wanted quiche, she said she doesn’t like it. I suggested a ‘baked omelette’ she agreed to try something new and loved it - It was quiche with no crust!! 

21 Answers

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  • 2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    You can't please people like that so just cook for 2. either you can have leftovers for yourself or if mom wants some she can have some. If she complains about the food, tell her the food wasn't for you, I was sharing. If you don't like the food, mom, then don't eat my left overs.

    You want to make it a point where she's held responsible for choosing to eat your food, which means she can't complain about it as it's not for her.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Cash!  Start paying your way then cook for yourself and she can do the same... problem solved.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You know your mother better than the rest of us so you know best really. 

    What I would do if that happened with my mother? 

    I would tell her that since she complains I am just going to cook what I want. Then cook what you want, but make extra, and offer her some if she wants it. 

    Or take turns cooking.

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Why not ask her first what she would like before cooking it?

    Remember, also, that you are still tender at the break up....it will naturally make issues feel worse than they truly are.

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  • Jane
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Relax and take a step back, you've become too focused on trying to please. Your mum might say you're driving HER crazy lol!  Maybe cook 2-3 times a week and stop crowding her in the kitchen at other times, you are not their carer and they have managed without you before now? Start planning your independent life.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Trish
      Lv 5
      2 months agoReport

      She should pay and not think merely cooking a meal is payment enough at this rate she may never leave.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    maybe you should move out

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  • 2 months ago

    Donna this is not a big deal. Who is buying the food? If they are buying it then cook and let them waste it. Work on moving then you wont have that problem. Corona is going on and you are upset about somebody being a brat. That is life. Lets trade problems. I'll cook.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    two women in a house is a problem always is

    it is her kitchen regardless of how good you are or how nice,,, you are interfering and messing with her kitchen

    ask her what chores you can do.... 

    PS I am the husband 

    I clean the kitchen and get upset when the wife's one day a week cleaning lady messes with my stuff

    I cook breakfast every morning ,, the rest is mostly my wife's,, except thanksgiving 

    I no longer get mad ,, I just fix it 

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  • A
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Instead of you cooking, offer to help her prepare the meal and do all of the cleanup

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  • 2 months ago

    short drive..............................

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  • 2 months ago

    Is it possible that her own mother was this way when she was around the age you are now? In a quiet period take her back to when she was your age and how she felt when treated unkindly by her parents. Do this sincerely with genuine interest - probably best not during an argument. That said, it might perhaps be effective when emotions are high. It is usually better to ask questions than to say things. 

    You mention parents here is your father in all this? Perhaps you can play the waitress/cook role and go to her an hour before supper time with a little waitress's notepad and "take her order". Have a few options, perhaps. Make it fun and light-hearted. If she complains, show her the "order". 

      

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