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What to do when someone refuses help.?

Recently, my younger sister has fallen on difficult times, financially. She's hasn't worked in over a month, and despite consistent effort, has been unable to find employment, as jobs are scarce during this pandemic. I asked her to give me a ride to the bank and gifted her $100. She was reluctant, but accepted. She brought me back home and stayed for a movie. After she left, I discovered the money sitting on top of my microwave. I don't consider her to be terribly proud. Instead, I think she may feel that the amount is too generous for a mere ride across town, and might worry about appearing greedy by accepting it. A hundred bucks is not going to break my bank. I only meant well. She may be too bashful to humbly receive a gift that I believe she could certainly use. I dont want to make her feel pressured or embarrassed. Is it rude to push further? Any and all advice is welcome.

9 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Could your sister have possibly forgot to put it in her purse? Ring and ask her. Maybe she is too proud to accept any help so all you can do is tell her that you're always there for her and if she ever needs anything to call you.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You should probably not be going to the bank if you can at all avoid it. But you can send your sister an e-giftcard for a food delivery service or something.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Forget about it.   Bringing up the subject will only cause her further embarrassment.

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  • PAMELA
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Yes, it would be rude to push it, leave her alone, just let her know that if she ever needs help that you are there for her.

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  • 2 months ago

    Get in touch with her, and explain that you wanted her to have that money to cover immediate expenses. If she wants to consider it a loan from you rather than a gift, she can always repay you at a later date, when she's back on her feet. That should salvage her pride during a difficult time.

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  • 2 months ago

    For many, there is much embarrassment and shame around being unemployed/having little or no income, so perhaps your sister was simply overwhelmed by what she saw as an overly generous offering. Your intention may have been pure, but this does not negate how your sister perceived the gesture. Given your sister did not keep the money, it would be best not to offer to her again, as this may inadvertently cause friction or tension or awkwardness between you. Best you can do is continue to support your sister with love, care, kindness, compassion and companionship.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    i wouldnt keep pushing it if she dont want your help

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  • 2 months ago

    there is some pride involved here or there is something in your relationship with her that needs to be addressed. It may have something to do with a past experience. How has your relationship been with her all these years? Does she feel uncomfortable with your efforts to help her because you have mistreated her as an older sister in some way? Only she knows the reason but I would ask her why she feels she cannot accept help from you especially if your relationship is strong and loving with each other. It is odd that she would refuse help at this time when she desperately needs it.

    • Michael2 months agoReport

      I think she has tremendous difficulty accepting help in general. I'm not taking this personally. I'm actually an older brother, by the way, and I do feel our relationship has always been warm. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  • 2 months ago

    Phone her and say, 'Hey Annie, I found the $100 lying on the microwave. Did you forget to pick it up?"

    If she says, "Thanks all the same, but I'd really rather not take it", don't push. Just say, "OK, no problem. Just remember, if you ever need it, I'm here" and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

    • Michael2 months agoReport

      I like that. Thank you.

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